Missing The Love...Who Does That?

For the last week or so I've been stuck in a rut, in general.  This happened around the same time last year, although it was closer to my birthday which is at the end of January.  I think it could be the result of discarding old emails and other crap cluttering my environment.  Usually I feel fantastic afterward, but instead I'm overwhelmed emotionally and backed up mentally.

"Backed up" is probably the best way to describe each one of my tanks right now because after I remove something I deem disgusting, something else pops right up to the surface.  These tanks, for those of you interested, are...

• Emotional & Mental Stability
• Personal Life
• Career Path

Last year I spoke a lot about my trust issues and went through a process to eliminate what I believed was holding me back.  Today I had a break through which consisted of me verbally spewing a rancid thought process to someone close to me.  I think I finally realized what I've been holding on to and apparently never released.  How could I when I never made it to the root cause?  I thought I had it all figured out.  Silly me.  Always thinking I have it right when I don't.  "It" being whatever egotistical "demon" was/is controlling my belief system about myself and those I have allowed to be in my circle.

I think I'm at a point in my life where I'm sick of dealing with renters and tourists.  I want home owners, damnit!  People who are prepared (and willing) to invest in me for the long haul.  The underlying fear (ugh, not that one again!)  is that I'm not truly lovable, therefore I cannot attract wise investors, just those who want to party with me for a while then take off.  Either that or those who have an agenda and when I catch on, practically force me to kick them out.  I didn't know these acid-based feelings were present, eating me up inside for many years.  I believed I was never loved and that nobody could possibly feel that way toward me for real.  Wow.  That's real shitty way to live and I've been doing it, totally unaware.

...and in case you didn't know, being in denial blows! Just thought I'd share that one, LOL.  What's worse is realizing you were in denial for X amount of years and uncovering the truth when you thought you had it right all along.  This is something I had to face today.  Better to get it late than never I suppose.

Actually, scratch that last thought (so ADD right now, sorry).  Having someone tell you they really love you, not believing their words and them not understanding why is the worst in a matter such as this.  Missing the love! Who does that? Me, apparently.  So the big question I've been asking myself ever since this particular conversation ended is this:

How can you preach FAITH to people when you haven't truly mastered it yourself?


I guess it's because I have faith in everything else...everything, but my ability to be truly loved.  Now whose fault is this? Should I blame my parents, ex-lovers, ex-friends or random people who thought it was okay to shove a knife through my back and into my heart or did I fall on the sword by my own volition?

Oh my God... I'm fucking codependent!

CODEPENDENT, holy shit!  I totally need a support group now, damn.  No time for that, so I guess I'll re-read a classic, "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie.

How funny that I'm typing this out and having an epiphany at the same time!  Awesome.  I'm thinking about my past relationships with people (family, friends, romantic) and now I see how I am partially responsible in creating such a heartbreaking outcome.  Now I just have to go back to the beginning and rehash my steps to eliminate this awful "disease".

The question now is, "Am I technically codependent if I stopped the cycle of attraction"?  I know for a fact this is true since I am married to a man who doesn't really need me.  He chose me and has been very adamant about that.  So now that I'm convinced, I guess that label isn't 100% true these days.  I may still be carrying codependent tendencies though and I need to make sure I get a handle on it.  Martyrdom isn't attractive either, so that's something I'll be looking into as well (just in case).  

I don't believe my actions are as bad now as they used to be in my 20's.  That's good news, but my Ego hasn't caught up with the times so I'll be needing to fix this ASAP!  I feel another blog series coming on.  Oh damn...look out!

Recently I posted on Twitter that writing is therapeutic for me.  It really is and it works, I promise.  So many of us are codependent and are virtually clueless about it, so I'm thinking this next series will provide a wake-up call to a lot of people, myself included.

Oh, and one last thing...

Missing the love is very common.  I hear about it all the time, but I wish I wasn't in that boat.  The last thing I need is to live with regret so this is me...walking the plank...getting ready to take a flying leap again.

A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime

I've been thinking a lot about some of the people who have graced my life in the last 7 years or so.  Some brought on nothing but pain, some imprinted wonderful memories on my heart and others had some very wise words I still remember to this day.

A Reason...
When I think about those relationships, the ones that pop into my head are those in the "very wise words" category.  My ex-boyfriend Dave, for example.    While in the relationship he said to me, "I think 'the one' is the person who annoys you the least."  I even blogged about that one many years ago and it's still here.

Well that standard pretty much determined the demise of that situation since my first thought was, "Well I guess he's not it. I'm annoyed every single day!" LOL!  If I were to ask him tomorrow, "How often were you annoyed with me while we were together?" I'm pretty sure his answer would be, "All the time."

Turns out we both married people much more tolerable.  We should both be grateful that God thought we were worthy of folks who are willing and able to put up with our mountain-like piles of bullshit.  Woo hoo!  He's been in my life for many reasons and seasons.  Not sure about lifetime as I'm only in my 30's.  One of the biggest reasons was to get me back into a long-term relationship and also to propel me out of Michigan. Even though I was mentally plotting that move, I wasn't ready until the break-up.  He also used my move as a means of moving forward as well.


It's so easy to play the victim after a break-up or when dealing with a no-win situation of any kind.  Finding the spiritual lesson for a seemingly negative outcome doesn't come easy, especially since our emotions generally control our mindset.  Forgiving that experience is a good way to start the process of moving forward.  Gratitude is what you'll feel when it's complete.



A Season...
Most of us are familiar with the seasonal connections.  You know, the people who come in temporarily then leave.  We usually call them acquaintances.  We may be strongly attached to them for a period of time then either they just *poof* disappear or we slowly remove ourselves for an unknown reason, never to return.  A season can even be a 5 year stint.

There's usually a life lesson presented to us in those cases.  The temporary connections are used as a place holder in time before the significant people or situations enter.  Divine events are notorious with the seasonal connections.  They are most definitely spiritual in nature and usually have a lot to offer someone in terms of seeing things as they really are.

I was living with a very unhealthy friendship for a few years.  This person betrayed me in the worst possible way and what's more is that I saw it coming.  What I didn't realize is that I made a fine impression on one of her family members.  So much that this person contacted me years after my connection to them had ended.  She was seeking my guidance and of course I gave it to her, without hesitation.

Even though my tie to this family was clearly over never to be revived, my actions during the time I was involved with those people remained on this girl's mind.  She told me that I had earned her trust even though I wanted nothing to do with her family (really, just one person).  I still think about her and pray she's doing well.


A Lifetime...
Another thing I've been focusing on lately is the obvious pattern I have in my situations....distance.  I always seem to attract people who become close to my heart, but we live far apart.  Some of that is my own doing since I moved to another state back in 2006.  Even before that big leap of faith, I had connections all over the place.  My friends Cyndall and MsRhea, for example.  They and I have been very close for over 10 years now, but life got too crazy at times and we haven't been able to communicate every day like we used to.

It's nice to know that those friends (and some family members) don't get mad at me for not calling for a few months.  When we reconnect it feels as though we spoke "just yesterday".  You don't have to live next door to carry significant relationships with people.  It's the good intentions and follow through that matters in the end.  Showing them you give a damn means everything, even if it's only once in a while.

Life takes over.  People get busy.  Things change.  It's the people who understand and can work with those facts who usually end up being lifetime connections.


So today I'm grateful for many people.  Those who have entered my life, left and of course for those who remain.  It can be difficult to remember why life is worth living when we feel alone or when relationships fall apart (or *poof* disappear), but there's always something we're missing when we choose to live in the "dark ages".  If today isn't convenient, try lifting those shades and let the light in tomorrow.    

The Year In Review

I've been thinking a lot about change and random stuff lately and it just occurred to me that we're almost finished with 2011 already!  I don't know why I'm just now realizing this since I've been focused on Christmas, but I guess that's the problem.  Too much focus on my immediate surroundings and less on the bigger picture.

I owe so many people emails, phone calls and visits it's not even funny, but the kids have, for the most part, taken up all my time and energy.  This is not bad, but that's how I tend to lose sight of other things and people seriously important to me. 

The other day Dave and I went out to dinner alone.  I couldn't remember the last time we went anywhere alone. It was probably New Year's Eve last year.  How sad that I couldn't recall, but I know I can count on one hand how often we have gone anywhere without children in 2011.  Again, not a complaint.  I just wish I could remember where my memory has gone, LOL!  I've been living in the mommy cave and haven't come out for a while.  I don't want to be this way so that's the last change I will implement this year.




Rhea and I did a show last year in December called "A New Year, A New You".  I'm pretty sure I made a statement about 2011 being the Karma year.  This means that we were supposed to have either reaped the positive benefits of the seeds we planted for great change OR would be slapped around by God, shot the middle finger and forced to "get it", leading us to circumstances outside of our control.  Some of us may have been empowered to create change or take a chance at something we didn't have the guts to do in previous years.  Some may have tried to relentlessly avoid progress, but failed miserably.

The good thing about Karma is that it isn't all bad.  It's about learning lessons, dismissing negative patterns and moving forward.  Once the issue is dealt with, ie: being on the other side of the fence in a break-up, we are no longer in danger of a repeat performance and become better equipped to handle adversity in the future.  Though it's true what is said, karma is a bitch, it's an honest one and will lead to a better future.


FACING REALITY

I've had some really great opportunities for change this year and I'm proud to say that I've taken them ALL!  Some I didn't ever see coming and still can't believe it's happened, but I know they wouldn't have unless I got off my butt and followed my intuition.  Yay for psychic ability!  Most of these things happened the second half of the year.  I can't really remember the first part, LOL.  I do know that the first part of the year rendered more stressful and unnecessary situations though.  Boo!

My strongest lesson this year was to follow my intuition no matter what and I will succeed.  It was also another year of testing the trust issues, removing more smelly garbage from my childhood and reinstating goals.  It's nice to see that I'm able to psychically read myself accurately, which also happened a lot this year. 

Some of these things were thoughts I had regarding specific individuals I had met when I was a teenager.  I got confirmation that my feelings about them and the choices I made back then were dead ON.  That is just awesome and perhaps a bit strange, but who cares!  I'm stoked!  How many 16 yr olds do you know can peg someone the minute they meet them and not only be right, but be able to take the best course of action and not regret it EVER?  Not many and for that I can only credit myself (and maybe Spirit).

So the reality I had to face in 2011 was this:

I am (and always have been) absolutely, 100% SUPER fabulous!


Too bad there are people out there who let their opportunities to be a part of my life fall by the wayside.  They really missed out!  I guess it's about time I finally see my worth and pat myself on the back for a job well done. 

Yes, that was my middle finger shooting straight up in the air this time, not God's.

That felt good.

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!

From Darkness to Light

Lately I've noticed quite a few people dreading the upcoming Winter season.  This is mostly coming from the singles, but there are others as well. 

It's like this, "Oh boy Winter is coming again.  Another holiday season I'll be alone" and "I'm so tired of this crappy weather.  I have no motivation to do anything!"

I understand where everyone is coming from, especially the icky weather stuff.  I was born, raised and still reside in the midwest so yeah, Winter blows.  There aren't many sunny days, it's freezing, our energy levels seem to plummet and there isn't a whole lot to do unless you take part in winter sports, which I personally do not. Unless of course we're talking about sitting my butt on the couch with a hot chocolate watching the Detroit Red Wings or figure skating.  Now that I can do!

Right now though, my husband and I are in Black Friday prep mode.  We're getting ready to decide on Christmas presents for the kids and figure out who will watch them while we spend the midnight hours shopping after Thanksgiving.  We also plan to take part in Cyber Monday so that we don't have to worry about a babysitter.  That's the extent to my dread at the moment.  I know it sounds silly but, Christmas shopping for 3 kids is very stressful, lol!  I haven't even prepared myself for indoor playdates yet, so I guess my mental priorities are a bit skewed.

To get serious though, the transition from Fall to Winter can be a bitch, especially for those who haven't experienced their life shift of 2011 yet.  December to April seems to be the months where we've hit a plateau and are skating though life, day by extremely boring day.  Well, I said seems because that's how a lot of people view it.  Unless you are blessed to live in a warm climate, can get outside regulary and are exposed to lots of people, of course.

A few times every year I go through what I call seasonal prep mode.  In August/September I get ready for Fall by cutting down bad tree branches, trim down the shrubs and do my last lawn treatment.  October/November I "delete" my emotional baggage from the past, whether it's recent or random stuff I missed in previous years, clear the physical clutter from my home (which includes a massive cleaning),  and make a decor change.   March arrives and I do another clutter removal, cleaning, rearrange the furniture and change out the clothes in everyone's wardrobe.  May/June I plant flowers, start lawn treatments, trim the shrubs, pull out the Summer furniture and buy outdoor toys for the kiddos. 

That's only part of what I do every season.  I just didn't feel like typing it all out, lol!

So you get the point though right?  Every season we need to go into prep mode to keep our energy as balanced as possible and our perspective as positive as it can be.  This takes a lot of work.  I know what you may be thinking..."Ugh more work?  I'm so sick of doing this stuff.  Why can't good things just happen for me? What about time served?" 

Believe me when I say I've been there and thought those things.  Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way that nothing changes unless you do.  So here is a list of stuff to go over before embarking on our next transition...

• Don't fear the Winter. Instead, come up with fun things to do that will keep you busy.
• Keep an open, positive perspective.  Change happens when you're available to it.
• Remove the emotional and physical clutter from your life. Forgive the past.
• Come up with a new schedule for balancing fun, work & spirituality
• If single, either create an online profile or join programs that can introduce you to new folks
• Make time for meditation every day/week
• Create a Vision Board for your dreams and desires
• Set some new physical goals you can achieve during the Winter, aka your down time.
• Have a party! Celebrate the end of this season with people who make you smile.

Keep that list handy.  It will serve as a reminder to stay on track since most of us over 30 seem to have CRS syndrome (can't remember shit).  The above list will work for those under 30 too, lol. 

So in closing I'd like to say that we can create almost anything we want, as long as we're open, willing and able to do our parts and take action toward our dreams.  If you just sit around waiting for a mircle, you'll be disappointed.  You are the miracle!  You and your power of choice, that is.  We can go from darkness to light as long as we keep moving and never give up!
 

Frustration Has A Way...

...of bringing on some serious gratitude.

We're always looking for that greener grass and a lot of times we find it.  When we do, it's either too prickly for us to graze or our little fantasy picnic goes awry, especially when we're in reaction mode.

This became true for me when I thought I'd try something new professionally.  I didn't realize how lucky and truly blessed I was until I temporarily changed course.  Now don't get me wrong here.  Expanding yourself and embarking on a new challenge is never a bad way to go, especially if you feel as though you're stuck in the sand(or quicksand for some). 

I didn't feel stuck really, just a little bored and without much inspiration where my career was concerned.  I swear I felt lead to this new avenue, but when I arrived all I got in return was feeling unappreciated, overworked and extremely frustrated.  That particular experience has brought me to this epiphany:

Be grateful for what you have.  If you're not, you won't be able to attract what you want.

I thought I was practicing an attitude of gratitude daily.  I thought I had taken the appropriate exit and turned on the right street.  I thought I was doing what was best for me.  Guess not!

Keep in mind that I've always believed the above epiphany to be true, but this time it seems as though God came through and nailed me in the head with a frying pan.  Good grief!  I can't believe I lost it somehow.  I can't believe I allowed myself to get caught up in something I KNEW (ages ago)wasn't truly the best thing to do for myself, but did it anyway.  How many times am I going to ignore my intuition before I finally have 100% faith?  Damn. 

After I got my ass whooped by the almighty God, I decided to take a breather for a bit and analyzed some of the other stuff that was a source of frustration for me.  I got my (small) list together and became proactive in killing them off, one by one.  I only have a couple of things left and I started this process about 2 1/2 weeks ago, yay!

So now that Fall will officially begin this Friday, I'm back to my annual clean-up.  This is where I chuck all the old emotional, physical and spiritual baggage.  Right now I'm focused on the physical.  I still have boxes laying around from March '10 when we move into this house.  I'm dying to get rid of it all.  That and the old clothes us 5 have that no longer fit and/or we never wear.  I just got rid of a ton of baby stuff too, which has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

This year I don't have a lot of emotional garbage going on so not much to do there, but I have been better with forgiveness, yippeee!

I've got a shit-ton of spiritual stuff I've neglected in the last few years so once all the physical crap is cleared, I'll be ready to take care of it. 

I think this transition, though slow in my mind, has been quite productive for me.  I like the feeling of becoming more centered, refocused on my goals and finding more balance.  Frustration does have a way of lighting a fire under my booty.  I'm just grateful I noticed...

Breakin' Free

We all have our moments.  You know, the ones that make us feel like victims for the times when we feel obligated to take on other people's problems as if they're our own.  Some do things for others out of the goodness of their hearts and others have an agenda.

I'd like to focus on those poor souls who do things out of love and only expect to receive the same in return.

To receive love, we must give love. 

Give LOVE, not things or money.  Ever notice that the ones who give the most never receive nearly half of what they put out there?  This is because we are solely responsible for replenishing our "love tanks" and a lot of people think they need others to do it for them. 

There's nothing wrong with being a giver as long as you actually have something to give and you have a reserve.  If you're tank is on empty, you cannot survive.  If you cannot survive, you cannot give.  It's that simple.  Here's a good example:

Your friend's car breaks down (again) and calls you for help.  You pick them up, take them home and hear, "Oh my God, what am I going to do?  I have to take my kid to school tomorrow and I won't have a car.  I can't rent one because I'm broke!"  So what do you do?  You lend them your car, the only one you have because you feel guilty that your friend's kid needs to go to school.  Now you need to bum rides from co-workers and other friends.

"Oh thank you so much.  I won't forget this.  I'll get you next time", you hear.  Next time comes and guess who won't answer the phone?  That's right, The Syphenator.  So where was Mr./Ms. Useyouwhenitsconvenient when you needed them?  At the club with their new "friend" and accidentally "missed your call".  Whoops!

Sound familiar?

Yeah, I thought so.


Why do people think NO is a dirty word?  NO, in case you didn't realize, is a complete sentence.  Just like, "I can't believe this is happening to me!"   Well believe it.  Shit happens...to everyone.  Nobody is exempt.  He or she is not the only one going through shit these days.  So the real question I have for you Mr./Ms. Giver is this:

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FEEL GUILTY FOR SAYING NO?

If giving to someone puts an essential part of your life at risk then why do it?  Here are some very good examples of things we should JUST SAY NO to.

• Listening to someone constantly complaining when they don't ever listen to your problems
• Running someones errands when they're perfectly capable of doing it them self
• Paying someone's bills when you're late on your own
• Taking time off work to babysit your SO's kids, but not having any PTO left for yourself
• Rearranging your schedule to do something for someone who never helps you in return
• Any favor for someone that can threaten the security of your job.
• Drugs

Love don't cost a thing...just a moment of your time.

Love is a constant pay-it-forward cycle that should never die.  When love is real, that is.  It's not just between two people.  This cycle operates like the Bermuda Triangle, sucking in each person who attempts to travel there.  The same goes for what I call Whackitis. 

Whackitis is a virus caused by "whacks" to a person's energy field.  A whack is the equivalent to daggers being tossed in our backs, creating holes in our spirits and aura.  This virus spreads and acts like AIDS, chewing up and spitting out one's energetic immune system, leaving the aura weak and susceptible to other people's negativity.  It'll shut down a healthy Ego causing us to be overly emotional, delusional, angry and sometimes completely drained.  Only a reality check and self-love can cure it.

Love is also a choice.

I'd rather be sucked in by the Bermuda Triangle than have Whackitis.  The Triangle consists of 3 islands and they are:

• Love thyself
• Love others
• Receive love

If you're ready to venture toward the Triangle of Love, these are the lessons you can expect to conquer when you get there...

• The gift of giving to yourself.
• An honest reality
• Acceptance and positive self-focus
• Detachment and eliminating energetic STD's
• Standard setting

It's never safe to assume that if you constantly give to someone who never reciprocates, they'll eventually do it some day.  That day may never come.  If you give someone a few chances and 1 out of 3 times they're available to you, that isn't too bad.  I'm not asking you to demand perfection here.  Like I said before, everyone goes through some heavy shit from time to time.  We're aiming for a healthy situation overall.

It's time to break those self-imposed chains and jump on the plane to the Triangle.  I'm ready.  Are you?

Are We There Yet?

Patience.  None of us have it when we really want something to happen. Nobody likes to feel the sting of what seems like a failed attempt in any situation. Nobody wants to wait for those damaging cuts to heal. When we're hurt, we want to feel better NOW.    Sure some of us have found a way to practice being patient in certain circumstances, but being consistent is another story.  This is normal.  This is what makes us human.  Not being able to control the ego during the dark moments in our lives is not a sin!  There's no need to beat yourself up when your emotions fall prey to the many cracks in the path that leads to your final destination. 

Unfortunately though, getting to the point of consistency with our efforts in being positive and having faith in the unknown is essential for healing the pain after those trips to hell.  This in itself is a journey, alongside all the other interesting lemons life throws our way.  Somestimes we get whacked with a doozie and pass out cold.  Other times we catch that little bastard and use it to create a special dish, one that everyone around us can enjoy. 

Now how does that work exactly?  For starters, catching whatever life decides to nail us with is merely a perception issue.  It's a choice.   How you internalize your circumstances coupled with your self-esteem will determine your capabilities. 

For instance, I spent many years analyzing my choices.  It took me for what seemed like forever to view myself in the most positive light my battered ego would allow.  I probably spent about a decade battling with that damn thing.  Back and forth, up and down.  In the midst of dealing with my self-inflicted injuries, I found myself acting like an annoying 5 year old constantly wailing, "Are we there yet God?  I need a break!" and comparing my life to other people around me.  By the time I reached the finale, I was absolutely exhausted.  Then come to find out I didn't need to fight much at all.  I just needed to tell my ego to shut the hell up, set my standards and stick with them.  Go figure.

With every path we are presented, there are lessons we must learn in order to grow and create either a new outcome in our situation or a new life all together.  Here are some of the signs I was forced to read while travelling on the highway toward exit Getoffyourlazyassville.


Acceptance...

One of the hardest tasks I was given while trying to create the life I really wanted was to accept reality and stop trying to change what I could not control.  I also needed to understand that there will always be cracks and pot holes on every path I take.  I must attempt a flying leap, otherwise I'd be keeping myself from achieving my goals.  There were many times when I kept my foot on the brake and didn't take chances.  The results were not pretty and of course, I was filled with regret.  Stupid me.


God has a middle finger...

...and he's not afraid to use it.  Just because we want something does not mean we can have it.  I have a real problem with those so-called manifesting gurus who claim we can manifest absolutely anything we want.  That's a load of BS.  We can manifest our happiness, but what we think will make us happy may not turn out as planned and/or we'll find that one thing/person isn't the real deal.  That happens A LOT, trust me on that one.  We can only manifest what we're meant to have. 

That does not mean we're limited in life, however.  It just means that we cannot force a person to feel a certain way, control the exact salary we're offered or change a situation to suit our egotistically inspired needs.  It's not like we're the only people on Earth, you see.  Our power of choice and the free will of others mostly determines the outcome of the situation we either create or find ourselves in.


Opportunities are presented every single day...

We just have to pull our heads out of our asses, open our eyes then grab one!  Yes.  Change is everywhere.  It's so easy to allow the ego to take over and dictate our perception of the people and circumstances associated with us.  It's easy to complain about what we don't have and compare ourselves to another.  It's incredibly easy to blame something or someone else and not be accountable for our role in a failed marriage, fight with a friend, issues at work, ongoing family feuds, etc... It's easy to be shortsighted, judgmental and weak.

It's not easy to stand up for what you believe in without feeling that nasty twinge of guilt.  To be open and honest with everyone you meet, accountable for your actions, forgiving of others and loving toward yourself.  Finally, having the guts to take a chance on something or someone new.  These things take time, endurance and stability, but they will make you strong.  They will heal your spirit.  They will make you successful!  These things will make you lovable.  They will earn you ...

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

With every breath you take, an opportunity for change is knocking on your door, but will you choose to be available?


 "Good things come to those who wait."   Ah yes, it's that damn patience again.  Maybe good things come in certain situations, but what if we're waiting for something that will happen, but isn't truly in our highest good?  What if we're fixated on that one thing we believe will make us feel loved, but is meant to come in a different form?  I see this a lot in my readings.

Mr./Ms. Client complains, cries, dwells and is desperate for Mr./Ms. Asshole to contact them for a reconciliation.  They wait weeks, months and sometime years.  Eventually Mr./Ms. Client moves on, meets someone new then Mr./Ms. Asshole finally contacts them.  Too bad, so sad and too friggen late!  The weird thing I've noticed is that Mr./Ms. Client fights the new connection, compares it to the relationship from Hell, but then falls in love.  Ahhhh ;)  Turns out, Mr./Ms. Awesome shares a lot of qualities with Mr./Ms. Asshole.  I've even heard of many situations where the two have the same name...Wild! 

The lesson? 

Mr./Ms. Client's attraction to certain qualities in a potential mate was right on.  They just weren't meant to be with that specific asshole.  They were meant to be...

....wait for it....

HAPPY

...with someone similar, but honest, dedicated, just as hot, SMART enough to know a good thing when they see it with amazing follow-through.   

Holy shit.  What a concept!  Yeah, it took me forever to learn that one and though I'm not proud of the length of time it took to get it, I'm stoked about my outcome.  Nice eh?

 
 The problem with patience:  The longer you wait for a certain something (not in your highest good) to happen, the more impatient you can get with life.  You could become cynical toward new and better people.  You might beat yourself up and may carry a "doomed to fail" perception of your abilities, thus manifesting what you don't want.

The good kind of patience:  Waiting for the manifestation of what you deserve, while staying true to your standards without being too picky or judgmental.  This will create a consistent, positive cycle of attraction, which will instill more self-confidence and inner peace within.


Self-confidence and inner peace = happiness....damnit!

So if you're finding yourself riding that highway toward Getoffyourlazyassville, might I make a suggestion?  It'll be a good idea to make a pit stop at Stopmakingexcuses Dr. to take a leak, refuel your tank and get something to eat because it's a long ass road.  While you're driving, you're living and you have the power to make that ride as happy or miserable as you'd like.  It's your choice.

Here's another hint:  Refrain from complaining and whining, "Are we there yet?"  If you're alive, you're not.  Another fabulous lesson I learned after getting a flat tire from one of those G-D pot holes.  Good times!