Wonderland

Missing The Love...Who Does That?

2012-01-08T22:55:00.001-05:00

For the last week or so I've been stuck in a rut, in general. This happened around the same time last year, although it was closer to my birthday which is at the end of January. I think it could be the result of discarding old emails and other crap cluttering my environment. Usually I feel fantastic afterward, but instead I'm overwhelmed emotionally and backed up mentally.

"Backed up" is probably the best way to describe each one of my tanks right now because after I remove something I deem disgusting, something else pops right up to the surface. These tanks, for those of you interested, are...

Emotional & Mental Stability
Personal Life
Career Path

Last year I spoke a lot about my trust issues and went through a process to eliminate what I believed was holding me back. Today I had a break through which consisted of me verbally spewing a rancid thought process to someone close to me. I think I finally realized what I've been holding on to and apparently never released. How could I when I never made it to the root cause? I thought I had it all figured out. Silly me. Always thinking I have it right when I don't. "It" being whatever egotistical "demon" was/is controlling my belief system about myself and those I have allowed to be in my circle.

I think I'm at a point in my life where I'm sick of dealing with renters and tourists. I want home owners, damnit! People who are prepared (and willing) to invest in me for the long haul. The underlying fear (ugh, not that one again!) is that I'm not truly lovable, therefore I cannot attract wise investors, just those who want to party with me for a while then take off. Either that or those who have an agenda and when I catch on, practically force me to kick them out. I didn't know these acid-based feelings were present, eating me up inside for many years. I believed I was never loved and that nobody could possibly feel that way toward me for real. Wow. That's real shitty way to live and I've been doing it, totally unaware.

...and in case you didn't know, being in denial blows! Just thought I'd share that one, LOL. What's worse is realizing you were in denial for X amount of years and uncovering the truth when you thought you had it right all along. This is something I had to face today. Better to get it late than never I suppose.

Actually, scratch that last thought (so ADD right now, sorry). Having someone tell you they really love you, not believing their words and them not understanding why is the worst in a matter such as this. Missing the love! Who does that? Me, apparently. So the big question I've been asking myself ever since this particular conversation ended is this:

How can you preach FAITH to people when you haven't truly mastered it yourself?

I guess it's because I have faith in everything else...everything, but my ability to be truly loved. Now whose fault is this? Should I blame my parents, ex-lovers, ex-friends or random people who thought it was okay to shove a knife through my back and into my heart or did I fall on the sword by my own volition?

Oh my God... I'm fucking codependent!

CODEPENDENT, holy shit! I totally need a support group now, damn. No time for that, so I guess I'll re-read a classic, "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie.

How funny that I'm typing this out and having an epiphany at the same time! Awesome. I'm thinking about my past relationships with people (family, friends, romantic) and now I see how I am partially responsible in creating such a heartbreaking outcome. Now I just have to go back to the beginning and rehash my steps to eliminate this awful "disease".

The question now is, "Am I technically codependent if I stopped the cycle of attraction"? I know for a fact this is true since I am married to a man who doesn't really need me. He chose me and has been very adamant about that. So now that I'm convinced, I guess that label isn't 100% true these days. I may still be carrying codependent tendencies though and I need to make sure I get a handle on it. Martyrdom isn't attractive either, so that's something I'll be looking into as well (just in case).

I don't believe my actions are as bad now as they used to be in my 20's. That's good news, but my Ego hasn't caught up with the times so I'll be needing to fix this ASAP! I feel another blog series coming on. Oh damn...look out!

Recently I posted on Twitter that writing is therapeutic for me. It really is and it works, I promise. So many of us are codependent and are virtually clueless about it, so I'm thinking this next series will provide a wake-up call to a lot of people, myself included.

Oh, and one last thing...

Missing the love is very common. I hear about it all the time, but I wish I wasn't in that boat. The last thing I need is to live with regret so this is me...walking the plank...getting ready to take a flying leap again.

A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime

2011-12-18T22:50:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about some of the people who have graced my life in the last 7 years or so. Some brought on nothing but pain, some imprinted wonderful memories on my heart and others had some very wise words I still remember to this day.

A Reason...
When I think about those relationships, the ones that pop into my head are those in the "very wise words" category. My ex-boyfriend Dave, for example. While in the relationship he said to me, "I think 'the one' is the person who annoys you the least." I even blogged about that one many years ago and it's still here.

Well that standard pretty much determined the demise of that situation since my first thought was, "Well I guess he's not it. I'm annoyed every single day!" LOL! If I were to ask him tomorrow, "How often were you annoyed with me while we were together?" I'm pretty sure his answer would be, "All the time."

Turns out we both married people much more tolerable. We should both be grateful that God thought we were worthy of folks who are willing and able to put up with our mountain-like piles of bullshit. Woo hoo! He's been in my life for many reasons and seasons. Not sure about lifetime as I'm only in my 30's. One of the biggest reasons was to get me back into a long-term relationship and also to propel me out of Michigan. Even though I was mentally plotting that move, I wasn't ready until the break-up. He also used my move as a means of moving forward as well.

It's so easy to play the victim after a break-up or when dealing with a no-win situation of any kind. Finding the spiritual lesson for a seemingly negative outcome doesn't come easy, especially since our emotions generally control our mindset. Forgiving that experience is a good way to start the process of moving forward. Gratitude is what you'll feel when it's complete.

A Season...
Most of us are familiar with the seasonal connections. You know, the people who come in temporarily then leave. We usually call them acquaintances. We may be strongly attached to them for a period of time then either they just *poof* disappear or we slowly remove ourselves for an unknown reason, never to return. A season can even be a 5 year stint.

There's usually a life lesson presented to us in those cases. The temporary connections are used as a place holder in time before the significant people or situations enter. Divine events are notorious with the seasonal connections. They are most definitely spiritual in nature and usually have a lot to offer someone in terms of seeing things as they really are.

I was living with a very unhealthy friendship for a few years. This person betrayed me in the worst possible way and what's more is that I saw it coming. What I didn't realize is that I made a fine impression on one of her family members. So much that this person contacted me years after my connection to them had ended. She was seeking my guidance and of course I gave it to her, without hesitation.

Even though my tie to this family was clearly over never to be revived, my actions during the time I was involved with those people remained on this girl's mind. She told me that I had earned her trust even though I wanted nothing to do with her family (really, just one person). I still think about her and pray she's doing well.

A Lifetime...
Another thing I've been focusing on lately is the obvious pattern I have in my situations....distance. I always seem to attract people who become close to my heart, but we live far apart. Some of that is my own doing since I moved to another state back in 2006. Even before that big leap of faith, I had connections all over the place. My friends Cyndall and MsRhea, for example. They and I have been very close for over 10 years now, but life got too crazy at times and we haven't been able to communicate every day like we used to.

It's nice to know that those friends (and some family members) don't get mad at me for not calling for a few months. When we reconnect it feels as though we spoke "just yesterday". You don't have to live next door to carry significant relationships with people. It's the good intentions and follow through that matters in the end. Showing them you give a damn means everything, even if it's only once in a while.

Life takes over. People get busy. Things change. It's the people who understand and can work with those facts who usually end up being lifetime connections.

So today I'm grateful for many people. Those who have entered my life, left and of course for those who remain. It can be difficult to remember why life is worth living when we feel alone or when relationships fall apart (or *poof* disappear), but there's always something we're missing when we choose to live in the "dark ages". If today isn't convenient, try lifting those shades and let the light in tomorrow.

The Year In Review

2011-12-06T16:14:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about change and random stuff lately and it just occurred to me that we're almost finished with 2011 already! I don't know why I'm just now realizing this since I've been focused on Christmas, but I guess that's the problem. Too much focus on my immediate surroundings and less on the bigger picture.

I owe so many people emails, phone calls and visits it's not even funny, but the kids have, for the most part, taken up all my time and energy. This is not bad, but that's how I tend to lose sight of other things and people seriously important to me.

The other day Dave and I went out to dinner alone. I couldn't remember the last time we went anywhere alone. It was probably New Year's Eve last year. How sad that I couldn't recall, but I know I can count on one hand how often we have gone anywhere without children in 2011. Again, not a complaint. I just wish I could remember where my memory has gone, LOL! I've been living in the mommy cave and haven't come out for a while. I don't want to be this way so that's the last change I will implement this year.

Rhea and I did a show last year in December called "A New Year, A New You". I'm pretty sure I made a statement about 2011 being the Karma year. This means that we were supposed to have either reaped the positive benefits of the seeds we planted for great change OR would be slapped around by God, shot the middle finger and forced to "get it", leading us to circumstances outside of our control. Some of us may have been empowered to create change or take a chance at something we didn't have the guts to do in previous years. Some may have tried to relentlessly avoid progress, but failed miserably.

The good thing about Karma is that it isn't all bad. It's about learning lessons, dismissing negative patterns and moving forward. Once the issue is dealt with, ie: being on the other side of the fence in a break-up, we are no longer in danger of a repeat performance and become better equipped to handle adversity in the future. Though it's true what is said, karma is a bitch, it's an honest one and will lead to a better future.

FACING REALITY

I've had some really great opportunities for change this year and I'm proud to say that I've taken them ALL! Some I didn't ever see coming and still can't believe it's happened, but I know they wouldn't have unless I got off my butt and followed my intuition. Yay for psychic ability! Most of these things happened the second half of the year. I can't really remember the first part, LOL. I do know that the first part of the year rendered more stressful and unnecessary situations though. Boo!

My strongest lesson this year was to follow my intuition no matter what and I will succeed. It was also another year of testing the trust issues, removing more smelly garbage from my childhood and reinstating goals. It's nice to see that I'm able to psychically read myself accurately, which also happened a lot this year.

Some of these things were thoughts I had regarding specific individuals I had met when I was a teenager. I got confirmation that my feelings about them and the choices I made back then were dead ON. That is just awesome and perhaps a bit strange, but who cares! I'm stoked! How many 16 yr olds do you know can peg someone the minute they meet them and not only be right, but be able to take the best course of action and not regret it EVER? Not many and for that I can only credit myself (and maybe Spirit).

So the reality I had to face in 2011 was this:

I am (and always have been) absolutely, 100% SUPER fabulous!

Too bad there are people out there who let their opportunities to be a part of my life fall by the wayside. They really missed out! I guess it's about time I finally see my worth and pat myself on the back for a job well done.

Yes, that was my middle finger shooting straight up in the air this time, not God's.

That felt good.

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!

From Darkness to Light

2011-10-11T14:39:00.001-04:00

Lately I've noticed quite a few people dreading the upcoming Winter season. This is mostly coming from the singles, but there are others as well.

It's like this, "Oh boy Winter is coming again. Another holiday season I'll be alone" and "I'm so tired of this crappy weather. I have no motivation to do anything!"

I understand where everyone is coming from, especially the icky weather stuff. I was born, raised and still reside in the midwest so yeah, Winter blows. There aren't many sunny days, it's freezing, our energy levels seem to plummet and there isn't a whole lot to do unless you take part in winter sports, which I personally do not. Unless of course we're talking about sitting my butt on the couch with a hot chocolate watching the Detroit Red Wings or figure skating. Now that I can do!

Right now though, my husband and I are in Black Friday prep mode. We're getting ready to decide on Christmas presents for the kids and figure out who will watch them while we spend the midnight hours shopping after Thanksgiving. We also plan to take part in Cyber Monday so that we don't have to worry about a babysitter. That's the extent to my dread at the moment. I know it sounds silly but, Christmas shopping for 3 kids is very stressful, lol! I haven't even prepared myself for indoor playdates yet, so I guess my mental priorities are a bit skewed.

To get serious though, the transition from Fall to Winter can be a bitch, especially for those who haven't experienced their life shift of 2011 yet. December to April seems to be the months where we've hit a plateau and are skating though life, day by extremely boring day. Well, I said seems because that's how a lot of people view it. Unless you are blessed to live in a warm climate, can get outside regulary and are exposed to lots of people, of course.

A few times every year I go through what I call seasonal prep mode. In August/September I get ready for Fall by cutting down bad tree branches, trim down the shrubs and do my last lawn treatment. October/November I "delete" my emotional baggage from the past, whether it's recent or random stuff I missed in previous years, clear the physical clutter from my home (which includes a massive cleaning), and make a decor change. March arrives and I do another clutter removal, cleaning, rearrange the furniture and change out the clothes in everyone's wardrobe. May/June I plant flowers, start lawn treatments, trim the shrubs, pull out the Summer furniture and buy outdoor toys for the kiddos.

That's only part of what I do every season. I just didn't feel like typing it all out, lol!

So you get the point though right? Every season we need to go into prep mode to keep our energy as balanced as possible and our perspective as positive as it can be. This takes a lot of work. I know what you may be thinking..."Ugh more work? I'm so sick of doing this stuff. Why can't good things just happen for me? What about time served?"

Believe me when I say I've been there and thought those things. Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way that nothing changes unless you do. So here is a list of stuff to go over before embarking on our next transition...

Don't fear the Winter. Instead, come up with fun things to do that will keep you busy.
Keep an open, positive perspective. Change happens when you're available to it.
Remove the emotional and physical clutter from your life. Forgive the past.
Come up with a new schedule for balancing fun, work & spirituality
If single, either create an online profile or join programs that can introduce you to new folks
Make time for meditation every day/week
Create a Vision Board for your dreams and desires
Set some new physical goals you can achieve during the Winter, aka your down time.
Have a party! Celebrate the end of this season with people who make you smile.

Keep that list handy. It will serve as a reminder to stay on track since most of us over 30 seem to have CRS syndrome (can't remember shit). The above list will work for those under 30 too, lol.

So in closing I'd like to say that we can create almost anything we want, as long as we're open, willing and able to do our parts and take action toward our dreams. If you just sit around waiting for a mircle, you'll be disappointed. You are the miracle! You and your power of choice, that is. We can go from darkness to light as long as we keep moving and never give up!

Frustration Has A Way...

2011-09-19T15:51:00.002-04:00

...of bringing on some serious gratitude.

We're always looking for that greener grass and a lot of times we find it. When we do, it's either too prickly for us to graze or our little fantasy picnic goes awry, especially when we're in reaction mode.

This became true for me when I thought I'd try something new professionally. I didn't realize how lucky and truly blessed I was until I temporarily changed course. Now don't get me wrong here. Expanding yourself and embarking on a new challenge is never a bad way to go, especially if you feel as though you're stuck in the sand(or quicksand for some).

I didn't feel stuck really, just a little bored and without much inspiration where my career was concerned. I swear I felt lead to this new avenue, but when I arrived all I got in return was feeling unappreciated, overworked and extremely frustrated. That particular experience has brought me to this epiphany:

Be grateful for what you have. If you're not, you won't be able to attract what you want.

I thought I was practicing an attitude of gratitude daily. I thought I had taken the appropriate exit and turned on the right street. I thought I was doing what was best for me. Guess not!

Keep in mind that I've always believed the above epiphany to be true, but this time it seems as though God came through and nailed me in the head with a frying pan. Good grief! I can't believe I lost it somehow. I can't believe I allowed myself to get caught up in something I KNEW (ages ago)wasn't truly the best thing to do for myself, but did it anyway. How many times am I going to ignore my intuition before I finally have 100% faith? Damn.

After I got my ass whooped by the almighty God, I decided to take a breather for a bit and analyzed some of the other stuff that was a source of frustration for me. I got my (small) list together and became proactive in killing them off, one by one. I only have a couple of things left and I started this process about 2 1/2 weeks ago, yay!

So now that Fall will officially begin this Friday, I'm back to my annual clean-up. This is where I chuck all the old emotional, physical and spiritual baggage. Right now I'm focused on the physical. I still have boxes laying around from March '10 when we move into this house. I'm dying to get rid of it all. That and the old clothes us 5 have that no longer fit and/or we never wear. I just got rid of a ton of baby stuff too, which has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

This year I don't have a lot of emotional garbage going on so not much to do there, but I have been better with forgiveness, yippeee!

I've got a shit-ton of spiritual stuff I've neglected in the last few years so once all the physical crap is cleared, I'll be ready to take care of it.

I think this transition, though slow in my mind, has been quite productive for me. I like the feeling of becoming more centered, refocused on my goals and finding more balance. Frustration does have a way of lighting a fire under my booty. I'm just grateful I noticed...

Breakin' Free

2011-08-17T18:23:00.001-04:00

We all have our moments. You know, the ones that make us feel like victims for the times when we feel obligated to take on other people's problems as if they're our own. Some do things for others out of the goodness of their hearts and others have an agenda.

I'd like to focus on those poor souls who do things out of love and only expect to receive the same in return.

To receive love, we must give love.

Give LOVE, not things or money. Ever notice that the ones who give the most never receive nearly half of what they put out there? This is because we are solely responsible for replenishing our "love tanks" and a lot of people think they need others to do it for them.

There's nothing wrong with being a giver as long as you actually have something to give and you have a reserve. If you're tank is on empty, you cannot survive. If you cannot survive, you cannot give. It's that simple. Here's a good example:

Your friend's car breaks down (again) and calls you for help. You pick them up, take them home and hear, "Oh my God, what am I going to do? I have to take my kid to school tomorrow and I won't have a car. I can't rent one because I'm broke!" So what do you do? You lend them your car, the only one you have because you feel guilty that your friend's kid needs to go to school. Now you need to bum rides from co-workers and other friends.

"Oh thank you so much. I won't forget this. I'll get you next time", you hear. Next time comes and guess who won't answer the phone? That's right, The Syphenator. So where was Mr./Ms. Useyouwhenitsconvenient when you needed them? At the club with their new "friend" and accidentally "missed your call". Whoops!

Sound familiar?

Yeah, I thought so.

Why do people think NO is a dirty word? NO, in case you didn't realize, is a complete sentence. Just like, "I can't believe this is happening to me!" Well believe it. Shit happens...to everyone. Nobody is exempt. He or she is not the only one going through shit these days. So the real question I have for you Mr./Ms. Giver is this:

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FEEL GUILTY FOR SAYING NO?

If giving to someone puts an essential part of your life at risk then why do it? Here are some very good examples of things we should JUST SAY NO to.

Listening to someone constantly complaining when they don't ever listen to your problems
Running someones errands when they're perfectly capable of doing it them self
Paying someone's bills when you're late on your own
Taking time off work to babysit your SO's kids, but not having any PTO left for yourself
Rearranging your schedule to do something for someone who never helps you in return
Any favor for someone that can threaten the security of your job.
Drugs

Love don't cost a thing...just a moment of your time.

Love is a constant pay-it-forward cycle that should never die. When love is real, that is. It's not just between two people. This cycle operates like the Bermuda Triangle, sucking in each person who attempts to travel there. The same goes for what I call Whackitis.

Whackitis is a virus caused by "whacks" to a person's energy field. A whack is the equivalent to daggers being tossed in our backs, creating holes in our spirits and aura. This virus spreads and acts like AIDS, chewing up and spitting out one's energetic immune system, leaving the aura weak and susceptible to other people's negativity. It'll shut down a healthy Ego causing us to be overly emotional, delusional, angry and sometimes completely drained. Only a reality check and self-love can cure it.

Love is also a choice.

I'd rather be sucked in by the Bermuda Triangle than have Whackitis. The Triangle consists of 3 islands and they are:

Love thyself
Love others
Receive love

If you're ready to venture toward the Triangle of Love, these are the lessons you can expect to conquer when you get there...

The gift of giving to yourself.
An honest reality
Acceptance and positive self-focus
Detachment and eliminating energetic STD's
Standard setting

It's never safe to assume that if you constantly give to someone who never reciprocates, they'll eventually do it some day. That day may never come. If you give someone a few chances and 1 out of 3 times they're available to you, that isn't too bad. I'm not asking you to demand perfection here. Like I said before, everyone goes through some heavy shit from time to time. We're aiming for a healthy situation overall.

It's time to break those self-imposed chains and jump on the plane to the Triangle. I'm ready. Are you?

Are We There Yet?

2011-06-30T00:01:00.003-04:00

Patience. None of us have it when we really want something to happen. Nobody likes to feel the sting of what seems like a failed attempt in any situation. Nobody wants to wait for those damaging cuts to heal. When we're hurt, we want to feel better NOW. Sure some of us have found a way to practice being patient in certain circumstances, but being consistent is another story. This is normal. This is what makes us human. Not being able to control the ego during the dark moments in our lives is not a sin! There's no need to beat yourself up when your emotions fall prey to the many cracks in the path that leads to your final destination.

Unfortunately though, getting to the point of consistency with our efforts in being positive and having faith in the unknown is essential for healing the pain after those trips to hell. This in itself is a journey, alongside all the other interesting lemons life throws our way. Somestimes we get whacked with a doozie and pass out cold. Other times we catch that little bastard and use it to create a special dish, one that everyone around us can enjoy.

Now how does that work exactly? For starters, catching whatever life decides to nail us with is merely a perception issue. It's a choice. How you internalize your circumstances coupled with your self-esteem will determine your capabilities.

For instance, I spent many years analyzing my choices. It took me for what seemed like forever to view myself in the most positive light my battered ego would allow. I probably spent about a decade battling with that damn thing. Back and forth, up and down. In the midst of dealing with my self-inflicted injuries, I found myself acting like an annoying 5 year old constantly wailing, "Are we there yet God? I need a break!" and comparing my life to other people around me. By the time I reached the finale, I was absolutely exhausted. Then come to find out I didn't need to fight much at all. I just needed to tell my ego to shut the hell up, set my standards and stick with them. Go figure.

With every path we are presented, there are lessons we must learn in order to grow and create either a new outcome in our situation or a new life all together. Here are some of the signs I was forced to read while travelling on the highway toward exit Getoffyourlazyassville.

Acceptance...

One of the hardest tasks I was given while trying to create the life I really wanted was to accept reality and stop trying to change what I could not control. I also needed to understand that there will always be cracks and pot holes on every path I take. I must attempt a flying leap, otherwise I'd be keeping myself from achieving my goals. There were many times when I kept my foot on the brake and didn't take chances. The results were not pretty and of course, I was filled with regret. Stupid me.

God has a middle finger...

...and he's not afraid to use it. Just because we want something does not mean we can have it. I have a real problem with those so-called manifesting gurus who claim we can manifest absolutely anything we want. That's a load of BS. We can manifest our happiness, but what we think will make us happy may not turn out as planned and/or we'll find that one thing/person isn't the real deal. That happens A LOT, trust me on that one. We can only manifest what we're meant to have.

That does not mean we're limited in life, however. It just means that we cannot force a person to feel a certain way, control the exact salary we're offered or change a situation to suit our egotistically inspired needs. It's not like we're the only people on Earth, you see. Our power of choice and the free will of others mostly determines the outcome of the situation we either create or find ourselves in.

Opportunities are presented every single day...

We just have to pull our heads out of our asses, open our eyes then grab one! Yes. Change is everywhere. It's so easy to allow the ego to take over and dictate our perception of the people and circumstances associated with us. It's easy to complain about what we don't have and compare ourselves to another. It's incredibly easy to blame something or someone else and not be accountable for our role in a failed marriage, fight with a friend, issues at work, ongoing family feuds, etc... It's easy to be shortsighted, judgmental and weak.

It's not easy to stand up for what you believe in without feeling that nasty twinge of guilt. To be open and honest with everyone you meet, accountable for your actions, forgiving of others and loving toward yourself. Finally, having the guts to take a chance on something or someone new. These things take time, endurance and stability, but they will make you strong. They will heal your spirit. They will make you successful! These things will make you lovable. They will earn you ...

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

With every breath you take, an opportunity for change is knocking on your door, but will you choose to be available?

"Good things come to those who wait."   Ah yes, it's that damn patience again. Maybe good things come in certain situations, but what if we're waiting for something that will happen, but isn't truly in our highest good? What if we're fixated on that one thing we believe will make us feel loved, but is meant to come in a different form? I see this a lot in my readings.

Mr./Ms. Client complains, cries, dwells and is desperate for Mr./Ms. Asshole to contact them for a reconciliation. They wait weeks, months and sometime years. Eventually Mr./Ms. Client moves on, meets someone new then Mr./Ms. Asshole finally contacts them. Too bad, so sad and too friggen late! The weird thing I've noticed is that Mr./Ms. Client fights the new connection, compares it to the relationship from Hell, but then falls in love. Ahhhh ;) Turns out, Mr./Ms. Awesome shares a lot of qualities with Mr./Ms. Asshole. I've even heard of many situations where the two have the same name...Wild!

The lesson?

Mr./Ms. Client's attraction to certain qualities in a potential mate was right on. They just weren't meant to be with that specific asshole. They were meant to be...

....wait for it....

HAPPY

...with someone similar, but honest, dedicated, just as hot, SMART enough to know a good thing when they see it with amazing follow-through.

Holy shit. What a concept! Yeah, it took me forever to learn that one and though I'm not proud of the length of time it took to get it, I'm stoked about my outcome. Nice eh?

The problem with patience: The longer you wait for a certain something (not in your highest good) to happen, the more impatient you can get with life.  You could become cynical toward new and better people. You might beat yourself up and may carry a "doomed to fail" perception of your abilities, thus manifesting what you don't want.

The good kind of patience:  Waiting for the manifestation of what you deserve, while staying true to your standards without being too picky or judgmental. This will create a consistent, positive cycle of attraction, which will instill more self-confidence and inner peace within.

Self-confidence and inner peace = happiness....damnit!

So if you're finding yourself riding that highway toward Getoffyourlazyassville, might I make a suggestion? It'll be a good idea to make a pit stop at Stopmakingexcuses Dr. to take a leak, refuel your tank and get something to eat because it's a long ass road. While you're driving, you're living and you have the power to make that ride as happy or miserable as you'd like. It's your choice.

Here's another hint:  Refrain from complaining and whining, "Are we there yet?" If you're alive, you're not. Another fabulous lesson I learned after getting a flat tire from one of those G-D pot holes. Good times!

When I Grow Up

2011-05-20T10:19:00.003-04:00

Evolution is a funny thing. We're born helpless little babies and rely on our parents to take care of our needs. We explore, learn, grow and eventually get to the point where we have more and more control over our minds and bodies, then reject the help of our parents in order to establish our own independence.

As teenagers, we think we know it all. We feel as though our development is complete and try to project the idea that we're grown-ups, but yet we avoid the responsibility of being one. Our emotions are exaggerated since we're unable to see reality clearly. We push the boundaries believing we'll live forever and most of us test our parents' mental and emotional limits.

Once we reach the legal age of adulthood, we just go crazy. Well, I sure did. Nobody's advice seems to matter. We're freeeeee, but it's as though we've reverted back to infancy. We go through a rebirth to figure out who we really are and what we're supposed to do in life. Our emotional and mental stability is tested due to our relationships with people and taking on the responsibility of finally becoming an adult.

My mother once told me that we change the most between the ages of 18 and 25. I remember thinking she was crazy, but of course I was a teenager at the time. In hindsight I realize that yes she was correct, however, I believe I experienced the most life-altering changes between the ages of 26 and 30. I knew who I was as a young child, but it took me every year in my 20's to be given the tools I needed to create the life I have now. This is normal...and to think I was anything but, LOL!

When I was a kid the standard question people me asked was, "What do you want to be (or do) when you grow up?" I told them I wanted to live in space. They giggled and thought I gave a "cute kid" response, but guess what? I do live in space...in my own way. I get dreams, waking visuals and hear information about the future that proves to be accurate. I communicate with entities most people don't even know exist. Then there's my gift of writing. That's how I expressed myself the most with family, friends and authority figures during my childhood. Now don't think for a second I'm discounting my rather blunt verbal skills. I incorporate that into my personal and professional lives plenty. Just ask my husband.

Though I'm an advocate for leaving the past behind, I've been retrieving memories that remind me of who I am and help me stay true to my personal standards. I believe in living in the now, but we are all meant to experience many divine events throughout our time on Earth and use them to create a new reality. Each one is significant, even if we don't know it at the time. Generally we don't get the lesson or understand the deeper meaning to those events until after all is said and done.

Being a mother, wife and stepmom has introduced me to another facet with my life purpose. One I never knew I'd desire or be able to handle. It's funny how we are prepped for our adult lives with everything we experience as children. I always figured that was the case and that there was divine order, but to actually see things unfold as they're "supposed" to now is just amazing to me. It's kind of nice to be surprised by myself once in a while.

I know I still have many years of divine events, lessons and growth ahead of me and I'm okay with that. I think it's perfectly healthy to take a good look at ourselves fairly often to make sure we're on the path to achieving our goals and experiencing the best the Universe has to offer while we're alive. This process is part of "the awakening" as us spiritualists call it. We are constantly being born again after each divine event occurs in our lives, even in death.

As I move forward armed with the lesson of this new epiphany, all I have to remember is this...

When I grow up all I need to be is happy.

I wish somebody had told me that when I was a kid.

Waking Up

2011-05-01T12:49:00.001-04:00

Lately I've been blogging about balance, change and renewal. I think it's because this Spring I'm seeing a recurring theme with my family, friends and clients. It's all about the need to release negativity and move forward.

I'm also noticing a trend with people who seemed to have been stuck in their unhappy situations for a long time. Every detail that has been overlooked in these relationships are floating up to the surface and releasing those stuck in an emotional cul-de-sac from Hell and I'm not just talking about romantic stuff here. Those in dead-end jobs are dealing with this as well.

People are finally seeing themselves clearly and wishing they would have let go of a negative person/situation in their life instead of their dreams. It's everywhere I turn and it makes perfect sense. At this time the Universe is cleansing our Earth using natural disasters, couples are making permanent decisions (getting engaged/breaking up for good), babies are being born and a lot of people are attracting new jobs! Now that Mercury is no longer in retrograde reality is screaming, "I'm baaaack!" This may or may not be a good thing for you, but right now I'm in a place where I feel like a few doors are opening up for me to reconnect with my true spirit and integrate it back into my physical life.

When you feel as though you're living for something or someone else your daily routine can quickly become debilitating, although you may not notice its effects right away. Some people stay in this dark hole for years and don't get out until those holding the strings cut the cords and release them. This shock effect can be painful, but it's ticket to the ride we must take in order to reach our spiritual and/or physical destination.

I mentioned earlier that I feel as though some doors are opening for me. It's really not a change in MY life exactly, but I've decided to create a personal opportunity for myself due to someone's life choices. There are many goals I put on the back burner when I shouldn't have. Things near and dear to my heart. Giving birth to my son created a huge delay in time, but that's only natural. Now that he is almost 3 years old and is learning how to wipe his own ass, I figured it's high time other people around me learn to do that as well.

In the last few months I was avoiding the wall which had big, bold writing that read, "Hey Cristin, stop doing these things. You're wasting your time, dumbass!" Even though at one point I recognized this message, I didn't allow myself to stop or even slow down. I didn't truly get it until I was completely drained. I started to become resentful of certain people and situations I was dealing with. That's when you KNOW it's really time to reassess a situation. When you no longer have anything left to give.

I'm all about balancing the acts of giving and receiving, but when only one of those things is incorporated into your life, things fall apart. Though I didn't let that happen, I'm still feeling bewildered as to how I allowed myself to come close. I've always thought of myself as independent and strong, but I am only human. I have nobody to blame but myself and now I'm ready to set new standards with those who have taken advantage of me in the past. No more.

It's nice to know I've got my husband's support for this journey. Actually, I'm pretty sure we are not the only people here that is going to benefit from my latest decisions. I understand that creating shifts and breaking patterns will elicit some negative reactions, but since I KNOW it's the right thing to do, I'm certain the outcome will be exactly what I'm looking to achieve. I'm only focusing on the things and people that truly matter in my life.

Sometimes we feel groggy and unclear while going through an awakening, but other times (like my situation) all we see is the sunshine. I think we can see or feel whatever we want and the reality will reflect that. So if you're in analyzing mode at this time, imagine your doors opening and opportunities presenting themselves. You never know when something will come along to dramatically change your life for the better.

Lessons and Self-Care

2011-04-17T07:46:00.001-04:00

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what it takes to be a balanced, healthy and happy individual. It's so easy to allow stresses of every day life and issues in relationships to pile up, leaving us drained and frustrated.

I feel as though I've been living a fast paced life for a few years now. My only regret is that I haven't slowed down enough to enjoy it as much as I could have. Part of that is due to other people's negative reactions over some of the choices I've made. Even though I did my very best to brush them aside since I don't care for these particular people, their actions have affected the emotional well being of others in my life and those energies have come back to me, much like the boomerang effect.

Nobody is perfect and it takes a lot of work to keep that BS at bay, but I've tried and hoped for the best. Now I've come to realize that sometimes "trying" just isn't the way to go. Either you do or you don't. Trying is just another way to justify not following through completely and I think I've been guilty of that at times. I'm not talking about communication here. If you try to work something out with another person and they want nothing to do with it, well, that's acceptable. Making excuses for things only you control within yourself is another story.

I've never been one to rely on anyone else to take care of me. Perhaps that's something my parents did right. Even though I often felt abandoned by both of them, it put me in the position to do things on my own, physically and emotionally. That may not have been their intention, but feelings are never wrong. I'm proud of the choices I made moving into adulthood and I cannot credit anyone but myself for that.

Some of my challenges in the last decade were recognizing good people, allowing them into my life and giving myself the opportunity to rely on them in small ways. I needed to learn how to do all those things and integrate my independence as well. I believe I've gotten to that point, but I'm tested quite often.

Self-care starts with having the ability to emotionally handle the situations we face without "going over the edge". Most of us have experienced being stuck in a rut or feeling as though we cannot find a solution to a situation we have deemed important. There are 3 essential steps we need to conquer in order to be successful with self-care.

Face Reality
The first step to healing oneself is taking a good look in the mirror and accepting the truth in its reflection. Sometimes it appears promising and other times disgusting. I've done that exercise a lot in the past thinking I wouldn't ever have to repeat, but that turned out to be false. Even when we grow and allow change into our lives, we're still presented with different realities, tested to accept them and challenged to rise above.

Acceptance
This does not mean we have to like what life is giving us. Acceptance is acknowledging truth. Instead of emotionally reacting in a negative manner, use it to move forward and create a better reality.

"I understand that no matter what I do, Jill does not like me. I will not attempt to change for her and I will not expect her to change her opinion."

If you practice the definition of insanity (repeating the same things and expecting a different result), nothing will change. If you practice acceptance, that negative influence will eventually disappear and you'll be able to function properly. That person may not go away, but you will no longer feel the daggers they're tossing in your direction.

Forgiveness
This means letting go of all the negativity in your situation. You're no longer holding on to anger, resentment, pain or frustration. You're no longer allowing the past to provoke emotional reactions which lead you to making decisions you regret. Finally, you no longer live your life for someone else.

Now that it seems as though I have the emotional aspects of self-care under control, I'm going to focus my energy on the physical. I need to create a monthly pampering schedule for myself and stick to it this time. Consistency seems to be an issue for a lot of us and unfortunately, it's the most important thing we can do for ourselves while trying to lead healthy and happy lives.

For more information on this, please refer to the previous entries, Spring Renewal and The Act of Balance.

Spring Renewal

2011-04-12T12:28:00.001-04:00

Spring is a great time for transformation. We have a plethora of options available to us and I tend to use this time as an opportunity to make some changes to my home and life in general.

Rebirth and transformation are the same to me and I've been seeing a lot of that lately with family, friends and clients. Deaths, babies being born and break-ups are notorious around this time of year. For those of us who are not experiencing any of those things, we can feel lead to moving forward in our lives, personally and professionally during this season. This is the place I'm now finding myself.

The girls were at their mother's place for Spring Break this year and I took that time to finally get my home office in order. I painted the walls a beautiful lilac color, created my own motivational images for decoration and rearranged my furniture. It only took a couple of days and already my professional energy has shifted. This is a great thing, of course! Now I feel as though I need to tackle some of the other rooms in my home. I really can't stand those hideous off-white walls.

Here is a collage of some pics I gathered from Google. I put it together, framed it and using it as a centerpiece for some of the inspirational stuff I've made. Looking at this every day keeps me grounded.

We also happen to be in the midst of a Mercury Retrograde, which officially ends on April 23rd. I've noticed that a lot of people tend to take this time very seriously, often going overboard to protect themselves from what most believe is the "backward wrath" of the planet. Yes it's common to notice electronic communication going haywire, such as cell phones, email, social networking sites, ect... but I try to ignore all that crap. Some avoid scheduling important events during the retrograde as well. Though getting married or signing important contracts should be avoided, I honestly believe that our thoughts control most of what we attract. So if you believe Mercury's backward cycle is going to ruin roughly 4 weeks of your life, it probably will.

Mercury Retrograde aside, Spring is still an excellent time for creating the life you deserve. Here are some suggestions for getting started:

Eat healthier and get into a work-out routine
Clear out the clutter, physically and emotionally
Spruce up your home with a fresh coat of paint, rearrange furniture, ect...
Set a new financial budget and/or start saving money
Plan a vacation
Work on managing your time to balance work and play
Start a new hobby or work on creative projects
Spend less time on the computer and get outside
Take some time to pamper yourself
Visit friends or family you haven't seen in a while (or give them a call)
Most importantly, do whatever you can to forgive the past and move forward

I've never seen so much public bitching than I have this past Winter. Thanks to Facebook and other sites, we're privy to everyone's mood swings, break-up announcements and other negative events that may be occurring with our friends and loved ones. I say we should all post one happy or uplifting quote per day (or week if you don't get online often) to our favorite networking site. This could drown out all the sad news and change the energy of what we and others are being exposed to. Just a thought.

I have a funny feeling that this particular transition will be producing more results than I'm anticipating. Positive ones, of course! It just seems as though a lot of those dark clouds have lifted and I'm finally free to breathe, create and take a more agressive approach to my goals.

The Act of Balance

2011-02-24T12:32:00.001-05:00

Do you ever have those days when you feel as though everything is out of sorts?  Even if you happen to be someone who is meticulous about scheduling and household cleanliness, there will be days when something throws a wrench in the plan.

There are also days when everything seems to fall into place. All the chores are done, nobody is calling with their drama, you're feeling successful at work and best of all, you actually have time to do something fun!

That's the beauty of this thing we call life. There's a 50% chance the day will be great and of course, a 50% chance it won't. Unless you're one who is stuck in a situation that brings 100% unhappiness every single day, our lives are pretty much a balancing act. It's juggling between good/bad and happy/sad. Well, that's just one example.

If you're feeling as though you've lost control of your circumstances or nothing seems to "go your way", then perhaps a change is in order.

What is true balance?
I believe it's the ability to be mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually stable while going through the daily routine. When one is stable, they're less likely to freak out for more than an hour or two while dealing people or with news that affects them in a negative way. They feel the disappointment or anger, vent and move forward.

Another example of true balance is someone who does their best to choose their battles wisely with another person and/or refraining from allowing negative mind chatter to take over their life. Balance is not something we're born with. It's a skill we learn, practice and try our best to achieve.

Ways to clear the path for true balance:
It's so easy to fall into the trap of being overwhelmed and stressed with life. Here are some suggestions for getting out of the funk and creating a more balanced routine.

De-clutter and organize your space
When we have an overabundance of random stuff just laying around our home or when our home is dirty, it collects energy. Usually it's good energy we need to motivate ourselves to complete our chores, work efficiently, take care of our family, etc... Once the garbage is removed, your space will become physically and spiritually open to attract what you really want in life. The next step is organizing your items. If there's a place for everything in your physical space, your energy will reflect that.

Schedule at least 10 minutes a day to meditate
Meditation does not have to be a chore. You don't have to sit still with your legs crossed, humming some crazy mantra. All you need to do is relax yourself, breathe and clear your mind. I also believe that doing something creative, unrelated to the stressful events in your routine is a form of meditation.  You can even do 5 minutes when you wake up and 5 minutes before you go to bed. Anything is better than nothing.

Grounding exercises
Meditation is a good way to ground yourself, but there are other ways as well. Working out, writing in a journal, getting outside (weather permitting) or other fun activities are all great ways to create balance with your physical body and mental attitude. I do some of those things, but I also have my chakras cleared twice a month by a trusted practitioner and I use creative visualization to clear my energy as needed.

Eat balanced meals and get physically active
The McDonald's drive-thru is a fast and easy way to turn your body into a landfill. Eating balanced meals requires us to go shopping and cook. Yes that takes time, but reversing our energy or losing weight is not an instant thing.  Even if you can only find time once a week for a physical activity, it's a start.  You don't have to pay for a gym membership to do this. Take the kids to the park, walk the dog, jog/power walk around your neighborhood. You'll feel better.

Manage your time wisely
I wake up in the morning always expecting the unexpected since there are 3 children in my home. I'm constantly striving to keep a schedule and for the most part it works. If you haven't tried that one yet, perhaps that's the answer you've been looking for. The most important thing to consider is what we do with our time. Is there a lot of unnecessary drama creeping into your life? Get rid of it! If we allow that stuff to have a room in our space, it prevents us from doing what we want or achieving our goals. Spending a lot of time on stuff you don't really care about will create an energetic void in your spirit that will only attract more negativity.

Decorate your space to match your vibe
If your home or office reflects a drab mood, change it. A coat of paint, new furniture, wall decor or plants can create an uplifting vibration and enhance ones motivation instantly. The first step is knowing what you want to project into the Universe. Reading books or online articles on Feng Shui is a good way to get started.

Laugh and have fun!
Surround yourself with people who make you smile, laugh and have a great time. When we allow the business of our routine to take over our schedule, we miss out on the positive aspects life has to offer. Again with time management. Do something fun with the kids, play with your pets, have a date night with your partner/spouse, go shopping or hang out with your friends. To be a balanced individual, it can't just be all work and no play.

Change your perspective!
We can easily get into the habit of consistent negative thinking. We are what we believe. So if you think you don't have control, you don't. The first step to being in control is to stop believing you don't have the power to change your life. We ALL have that power. Make the choice to use your thoughts to lift you up instead of tearing yourself down and pay attention to what happens next. Nothing bad, I can promise you that! Deprogramming ourselves takes time so give yourself a break.

Have an attitude of gratitude
Each week take some time to list the things your grateful for. People or things that surround you every single day. Go over your stuff at the end of a month's time. This will serve as a positive reminder of what your life is really like. When we're truly grateful for what we have, we attract more positive upgrades. If all we do is complain, there's no room for anything new to enter our lives.

Clutter, Choices and Change

2011-02-14T14:13:00.010-05:00

Toward the end of January I fell into what I call the transitional funk. It's a strange thing for me since I experience transitions often each year, but I usually don't fall into a rut over past choices. The funk sort of feels like a mini depression, only lasting about 1-3 weeks depending on the circumstances. Mine was about a week and a half.

During that time my house became extremely cluttered. It was partly due to my laziness, but also because the husband and children never pull their weight in that department. I was lethargic to the hilt and quite honestly didn't feel like dealing with anyone whose intention was to deliver more smelly garbage on my doorstep or to take advantage of me.

Sometimes we need to shut down for a while, especially when we don't take the time to rejuvinate ourselves. I'm pretty sure that's partly to blame for the funk. That and having to mentally and spiritually clear away some recent drama that infiltrated my world unexpectedly. Keep in mind this was not caused by me nor was I the target. My written work was used by these people to hurt someone else, which really pissed me off. So I did what I do best in situations like these. I detached and temporarily shut down the lines of communication to those actively involved in the negativity.

In the midst of it all, some of the choices I've made personally and professionally floated up to the surface. My intentions were pure while making those decisions, but I felt the need to scrutinize the outcomes. Did I do the right thing back then? Would I have received a better outcome had I made another choice? What if I had waited just one more year? Am I really regretting my actions or simply trying to clear away someone else's smelly garbage? Those are the most common thoughts that go through our minds when we are getting ready to make changes in life, minus the smelly garbage comment ;)

After I took a few days to relax and focus on myself, the epiphanies came pouring in. Yes I made all the right choices for myself AND everyone in those situations. Not many people can honestly say that, can they? I should be proud of myself for not only having that ability, but for being strong enough to stand up and be the "bad guy" in order to do right by those people. I do not regret a single thing I've ever said or done. I stand by everything I write as well, especially when I'm using my personal life for examples to help others get through tough times.

Sometimes I think my delivery of certain pieces of insight or opinions could be filled with more compassion, but not one person or situation is identical. As long as I continue to view things from a spiritual perspective and also practice forgiveness on a consistant basis internally, I do not need to be worried about negative karma coming my way.

I'm not quite sure which areas of my life are getting ready to evolve, but I did get a reminder that I'm supposed to be keeping some energy for my own needs. I need to spend more quality time doing the things that make me happy. I've said this before, but I always seem to forget that one! "You are allowed to take time for yourself, Cristin! You have to in order to take care of everyone else. Hello!" are some of the thoughts that have been coming to mind lately. That one sprung me to action.

I pulled my husband aside the other day to express my dissatisfaction with the way certain things were going in our household and in my life in general. His reaction truly stunned me. First he listened quietly and then he came up with a plan to help me achieve my goals. Not professional goals, of course. I don't need him for that. Finally, he's promised to step it up and take on the issues that are not my responsibility. Wow! My only problem? I have to trust that he'll actually do it instead of taking it on all by myself just to get it done (what I believe is) the right away.

Trust. That damn issue always seems to bite me in the ass. Grrrr...
So with the help of my husband and my determination, I'm removing ALL the clutter from my mind and home. I'm going to continue making choices that's in my best interest. I'm going to allow positive change in my life, even if it's uncomfortable. I will bust my ass to TRUST and rely on my husband. It's time to LET GO of my old programming which tells me that I can only function properly alone. I've been married almost 2 years now. You'd think I would've gotten this lesson a long time ago!

Wonderland Radio News

2010-12-30T12:23:00.004-05:00

Hey everyone, Wonderland Radio has gone PREMIUM. We're now able to have up to 2 hr long shows, 50 callers online and premium showtimes. The show is no longer on Friday nights, but Thursdays at 9:30pm until 11pm EST.

Tonight begins our new schedule and we're kicking it off with the show "A New Year, A New Life".

Rhea and I will be discussing how to use manifesting and intuition to guage situations and turn negativity into positive tools for transformation. It's all about clearing away the smelly garbage for the new decade!

The Mad Season

2010-12-08T23:12:00.003-05:00

The Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays are always insane, but this year seems to have brought out the madness in masses. The week before TDay we had a nasty full moon and a Venus Retrograde, which seemed to have enhanced people's emotional instability. Even if you're one who is consistently sane, this particular time frame may have had an effect on you. Now we're embarking upon yet another Mercury Retrograde that officially begins on December 10th and ends on December 30th. What a way to end 2010! (note the sarcasm)

Speaking of ending the year, I remember writing a blog entry at the beginning of it showcasing my personal highlights of 2009. I predicted that 2010 would be super huge for me in terms of growth and successfully achieving many more goals in my life, personally and professionally. In hindsight, the year seemed to go by much faster than previous ones and I can only seem to remember the more significant events instead of the year in general. So here it goes...

At the beginning of 2010 my dear husband graduated college and in the Spring moved to another company. Soon he'll be entering graduate school. His work schedule changed a lot in the last 2 years and many adjustments had to be made, especially on my end. Court finally ended with Dave's ex-wife in January. It was the biggest, most expensive waste of time for everyone but me. I scored big time with this one. I was able to get what I had wanted for ages and used it to my advantage. Just when you think you've got one up on me, you don't. Just sayin'.

The love of my life started preschool this year! My beautiful son, Angelo, is such a big boy now. He's the youngest in his class since his birthday falls in the Summer (he'll be 2 1/2 in January), but he's interacting with the other children just fine and learning so much. It's wonderful to see that all my hard work has been enhanced by his schooling. I'm not worried about this child at all. He's a human sponge and so so smart and his speech is getting clearer every single day. He's a 'lil monster though, LOL. I'd be a fool to buy anything nice for our home with this one running around.

Speaking of which, our family moved into a new home this past March during Spring Break, which is an awful time to move. We have a fabulous subdivision and as my sister-in-law would say, "You can't buy your neighbors." We hit the jackpot with ours and that's a complete 180 from some of the people we were dealing with at the last place. Every dream I had for my family came to fruition with the move this year and there's more to come! Thank God I'm blessed with my psychic ability and the guts to follow it! We're so happy, it's scary.

Yes, I said happy and scary in the same sentence.

The girls have experienced a lot of change this year as well. My OSD (older stepdaughter) had a tough time adjusting to the new visitation schedule and other events, not related to Dave and I. The light turned on after we moved and made adjustments to her schooling. She's grown so much and we couldn't be more proud of her. My YSD is starting a new phase in her life and is having difficulty making sense of it all. So I've got seemingly stable 9, emotional 6 and wild 2 in my house, LOL!

Now on to me...

It seems as though I was a chameleon this year, blending in with my environment every time a change was made to our lives. Everyone else comes first and Mom is last. I'm sure most of you Moms and Stepmoms out there feel me on this one. I happen to be both. I feel like a chameleon every year, but I feel as though God's true intentions really came out in this one. I guess I just got sick of God flipping me off, removed my shades and opened my eyes.

I had a list of goals for my career and I've accomplished all I set out to do. Some other things not on my list like Wonderland Radio, for example, has proven to be intuitive hits. The show is doing much better than I anticipated. I'm excited and grateful for that. I also completed my psychically designed program called, "The Joy of Manifesting Life." This series really woke me up and lit a fire under my ass. I saw myself in a different way then made the changes I feel I was lead toward. Like my OSD, I think I was thrust into the LIGHT and it stayed on this time. YES!

Most of 2010 really was a blur for me. I can't talk about every major event I experienced this year. Some were fantastic and some were very sad. Losing my 9 yr old cat, Carma, was one of the worst. This affected my OSD so much she spoke of it often and presented me a story she had written about it.

Now we're in the transition for the New Year and most of us couldn't be happier. The mad season for Christmas has begun and people are all over the place emotionally. We're seeing a lot of death, pregnancy, loss of jobs and engagements at this time. Be careful though. IF you're wedding date falls during a retrograde, plans may go awry. I noticed a lot of them occured in the last one, which started on August 20th.

You may be suffering from the mad season/retrograde effects if you're dealing with the following:

Uncontrollable freak outs/stress
Problems with communication (phone, internet and personal relationships)
Dwelling on the past
Issues with travelling (cancelled flights, car trouble, etc...)
Electronic devices breaking down (phone, computer, tv's, ect...)
Losing friends/family members to unnecessary drama

The Mad Season is meant to be an eye-opener for us, especially when it seems as though we're losing something/someone very important to us. It's all about transformation and growth. For those who aren't focused on the silver lining, your 2011 may not start out great, so I'm suggesting you try to change your perspective now, before it's too late.

The Joy of Manifesting Life- Epiphany Explosion

2010-09-16T11:38:00.014-04:00

In April this year I started The Joy of Manifesting Life series with a specific goal in mind. I wanted to see if I could manifest things for people who were not in my immediate family or circle of friends. I really thought the process would be simple.

I wasn't prepared for the outcome of this system. My intention was to create a fun way to test the Law of Attraction. I thought I'd be laughing along with those people I was trying to manifest for, but instead God shot me the middle finger and shoved a gigantic mirror in my face. Each day I was forced to deal with a facet of myself I assumed I had left behind. Pieces of past situations were staring back at me as if to say, "Hey asshole! I'm still here. Did you think you could just ignore me and move on with your life?" Yeah, that was a real joy to say the least, but isn't that what I called my journey? The Joy of Manifesting Life.

Don't we all just assume that joy means happy? It does, but we probably shouldn't assume that every little thing we do in life will bring us joy right now. Everything I had to deal with from the time I started on this path until now has brought me joy. It's also taught me tough lessons, challenged me to see or do things differently and most importantly, reminded me to be grateful for what I have staring me in the face daily and that's true love.

From August 20th to September 12th Mercury was in retrograde. I don't know much about that stuff so I did a little research. Apparently we're prone to going back in time to reassess our lives, amongst other things. Certain events came up to the surface and I became emotionally vulnerable for a couple of weeks. Since I believe these things come out for a reason and that's usually for unnecessary crap to be expelled from our lives, I decided to embrace those moments as opportunities for growth.

I still had some rough edges that needed to be polished. I've been carrying a type of attitude that wasn't working for some people in my life and I had no idea I was acting that way. Apparently it wasn't consistent, but this vibe came out often enough to be cause for concern. When these things happen with me, I take the time to figure out the origin and again, it was my childhood that reared its ugly head. Hence the asshole comment from earlier. Once I got to the bottom of my attitude problem about certain things, the next big epiphany slapped me upside my head.

I still have trust issues.

Damn. I thought I had taken care of that one, but noooooo. Only parts of me were healed and it was painfully obvious that a lot more work had to be done. (*sigh*) Okay, here I go again!

It's funny how all the big stuff decides to show up right around the beginning of the Fall season every year. Like the retrograde, Fall Equinox tends to bring upon these types of epiphanies, so I've been told. As I've said, this happens to me every single year, but I feel like this one is different. I can't explain it. It's just this feeling I have or intuitive hit as I usually call it. I feel like I can't control anything going on around me, yet I manifested every single one of those events. It's like the God force just came down and swept away all the unnecessary bullshit I had dealt with in the past then transformed my reality into what it's supposed to be. I can't complain about that, now can I?

One of the things we all have in common is our desire for happiness. True happiness. This journey has pulled me out of a normal existance and reminded me of who I really am, who I'm supposed to be right now and allowed change into my life once again. I swear it's as if I'm going through emotional menopause. No hot flashes, but hormonal imbalances are included as a feature in this game called "Get your shit together, damnit!"

To be happy for real, we must be...

honest with ourselves
comfortable in our own skin
accountable for our choices
accepting of other people and their choices (doesn't mean you have to like them)
able to trust our intuition and be willing to follow it

The items on that list are not suggestions. They are imperative actions one must take to ensure a successful outcome with anything in life. Though these concepts seem simple, they are difficult to maintain. I've learned to give myself a break and not beat myself up so much when I slip. As long as I stay consistently aware of myself and those actions, my chances of being happy are much greater then if I do nothing at all.

Letting go has been my God, my angels, my spirit guides and my stairway to happiness. If I could not let go of the unnecessary toxins in my mind, body and spirit, I wouldn't be able to say this:

My journey with The Joy of Manifesting Life has come to an end.

I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things.

The Joy of Manifesting Life- Confidence Is Key

2010-08-24T10:39:00.009-04:00

While going through this process of perfecting my manifesting skills I've had many personal epiphanies, learned to recognize the signs of good and worked on the art of letting go. In the midst of it all I had to strenghen my levels of self-confidence, personally and professionally.

We can always use a tune-up when it comes to growth and progress. I seem to go through this a few times a year and I'm sure most of you do as well. Sometimes we attract situations that test our ability to not react in a negative manner and to believe in ourselves a lot more. I feel like I'm going through this phase again.

I think the best way to measure our confidence levels is to analyze our reactions to the various events that test us, make us feel inadequete or just sad. When someone says something that triggers an emotional reaction, how quick are you to jump to feelings of anger, defeat or placing blame? How long does it usually take for you to get out of that negative mode? Hours, days, weeks or years? Do you hold on to certain events and take out your frustration on other people, past or presently in your life? These are all very good questions I ask myself when I'm in a situation that doesn't make me very happy.

We tend to attract certain people and situations that are in our highest good, whether we like it or not. Information and attitudes showcased in those events can often be a reflection of what needs to be polished inside our minds, bodies and spirits. When it comes to manifesting a more consistent and peaceful existance we need to make sure our confidence levels are balanced in such a way that we're effective in every choice we make. We need to be clear and in order to accomplish this we have to make sure we have faith in ourselves. This is the belief that we are successful and will continue to be in the future.

Faith is a funny thing. We're supposed to base our decisions on the unknown and believe everything will work out in the end, especially when we happen to be in emotional or physical turmoil. After going through a few challenges this past week, I realized that having so much faith in myself will present solutions and can bring any situation from a devastating point to a hopeful future. If I didn't have confidence in these ideas, I highly doubt I could have resolved the issues I was dealing with. The old saying, "you get what you give" proved to be accurate for me.

For the rest of this week, my new focus is maintaining my self-confidence, keeping the faith and following through with the messages I receive from my intuition no matter what. If I know it's the right thing to do then I will not be bothered by other people's negative reactions. That's their problem.

The Joy of Manifesting Life- Never Say Never

2010-08-18T22:50:00.010-04:00

It's been a little over a month since I last posted a chapter and let me just say that it's been an amazing time for me. In the last entry I mentioned a small lesson about being led to situations that are in our highest good even if we're not open to them. I've had a few of those scenarios pop up and I surprised myself with abnormally positive reactions. It seems as though the things I thought I wanted or the situations I thought I didn't want to take on have changed.

This past month has proven that epiphany to be correct for me. We can only avoid fear-based situations for so long before the God Force (my title) comes in, places a massive brick wall on the path and forces us to read the writing. This was especially true in my case and it turned out to be a positive message.

Now why would anyone shy away from such a message? Generally it's because we've created a space so full of fear that we don't notice the guideline even if it's showcased with spotlights. We choose to ignore it, quite possibly due to past "failures" or trying to project the outcome based upon a lack of self-confidence. If we're in that mode, the projected outcome is never positive, which keeps us stuck in a cycle that is not in our highest good.

Here's the good news though. Once we remove ourselves from that place, we start reacting psychically and automatically bring new and spiritually sound situations into our lives. That is what happened with me. I realized what was going on, took action and essentially opened some doors that were previously closed. Of course, it was me who demanded that they remained locked since I thought I had no interest in pursuing those paths. That's the thing about life. It shows us who we really are and what we're capable of all the time. We only have to make ourselved available to those lessons.

On that note, I can say with certainty that I have been open, I did receive the messages and I'm proud of the actions I took which lead me to achieving much more than anticipated. Looking back to some of my previous entries in this series, I know that all those focuses were true messages from Spirit and turned out to be very very wise. Nice. The most important one was "allowing the Universe to lead me to my next step." Letting go of my expectations of what that would be really helped a lot. It's not the easiest thing to accomplish, especially when we think we know who we are and what we want out of life. Never say never.

There's one thing I did not do very well and that's stick with a schedule. Now that the new school year is here I should be able to accomplish that goal. Summertime is always up in the air due to me having to take care of all 3 kids by myself every other week. I never get anything done, but now our routine is changing and you have no idea how excited I am for that. Both girls will be in school full time and Angelo will be attending preschool twice a week for 1/2 days. By the end of September, my husband's work schedule will be altered and that will give me more time to focus on my career as well. Yippppeeee!

With all of that said, my focus for this week is to appreciate the lessons presented to me this Summer and continue to take action. I'm looking forward the this new cycle.

The Joy of Manifesting Life- Intuitive Victories

2010-07-16T09:11:00.009-04:00

On June 21st I posted the chapter, Mini Goals and soon after followed up with Making Changes. I'm happy and proud to report that I have been aligning myself properly and things are coming to fruition!

I truly believe in cherishing the small victories because they come together to produce amazing results in the end. In order for this to happen, we must first believe it's possible then use our intuition to guide us to the action(s) that will allow our stuff to come to fruition. I usually know when I'm getting something intuitively for myself, however, this process seems to have created a shield to that particular element and I'm often wondering, "Is this now or in the future?" After a little hindsight analyzing, I realized that I'm getting things psychically first and it's taking an average of 4 weeks for these things to come to the surface to either be cleared away or to enjoy.

Recently I had this crazy intuitive hit to get myself a gemstone ring for my right hand. It's been about 12 years since I've worn one. It was my birthstone, the garnet, surrounded by diamonds and I absolutely loved it. I returned it to the ex-fiancee when we broke up and that was it. I never thought to get another one until now.

I spent the last week visiting many jewelry stores to find something I felt attracted to in my price range. While I was browsing, I decided that a garnet was not what I was looking for. Though that stone is supposed to represent me, I felt that it was way too dark to match my current energy. Instead, I found myself connected to aquamarine and green amethyst. I was having trouble finding that simple look and I almost gave up. I wanted to check the store where my husband and I purchased our wedding rings, but this place is pricey. I ignored my husband's protest, went anyway and guess what? I found the right ring for me and it was within the price range I had manifested, so I paid for it. Ha!

That same night one of my friends directed me to another store and I found a few rings that were better and a little cheaper, but I loved the one I bought and decided to stick with it. The next morning (pick up day) I received a phone call. "Cristin I'm very sorry, but while we were sizing your ring the stone cracked. We can replace it in 40 days." You'd think I would have seen that coming, especially since my husband wasn't happy I chose that store. I was pissed and since my manifesting plan did not include a 40-day wait, I requested a refund immediately.

Then it hit me: "I wasn't supposed to get that one. Now I can go to the other place and buy 2 new rings instead of one!" I had to let husband in on the news, with my tail between my legs of course. He snickered under his breath and gave me a look as if to say, "See I was right, you were wrong. Ha!" I'll accept that one since we both got what we wanted and yes, he was right. I'll be receiving my first ring next week and I haven't made a final decision on the second one yet, but that should come within two weeks or so.

This is a small victory. It shows me that we're led to situations that are in our highest good, even when we're not open to them. I wasn't supposed to have that ring, but wasn't wrong about having one to begin with, so my intuition was validated. This is also a reminder that there are always upgrades available to us and we don't have to pay a heavy price to be happy.

The Joy of Manifesting Life- Letting Go

2010-07-04T21:50:00.008-04:00

I've found that in order to start over with anything in life, we must let go of the past as much as possible and then we'll have a clean slate to work with. I say "as much as possible" because sometimes there are issues hidden in our psyche that we are unable to access right away.

We can try to focus our energy on the issues we know exist and release them, however, the others that remain dormant in our system need to be extracted as well. This can happen and usually occurs when our ego kicks in high gear, triggering an emotional response from a new event. This emotional reaction is not due to the event itself, but that old energy we hadn't cleared out. Though this may make us feel lousy, it's probably the best thing that could happen and it's temporary. Again, this is a good thing! Tears are even better since they literally cleanse your body of anger, pain and all the other residual crap you don't need.

I had a few recent events trigger some issues from (what I thought was) my long buried past, but I was wrong about that. Surprise, surprise! LOL! It really is funny when I look back at the last few months. When I posted about starting over and creating new beginnings, I really thought I was already there. Apparently that was my intuition showing me what my mind, body and spirit is gearing up for. It's looking like my emotions are being triggered by the strange synchronicities I'm experiencing with my husband's past, my childhood and our family situation as a whole (not talking about the kiddos here).

On June 8th I posted a focus in the chapter, "Working Through Obstacles" and it was, "Letting go of my old programming and expectations then let the Universe guide me to my next step." That was almost a month ago and here it is. My past thought processes are coming to the surface to be extracted. Yay for me and holy shit, it's really happening! I love seeing the fruits of my subconscious labor.

Like I mentioned earlier, it's the family situations that are kicking my emotional ass lately. A few months ago my sister brought me a bunch of her family drama and I rejected as much as I could since I spent years trying to detach from bio daddy, his wife and her daughter. Now another situation has come up that has provoked thoughts of my not so wonderful childhood. I've noticed that I swing from, "This sucks. I was cheated" to "I'm so very lucky to be blessed with this crazy intuition, otherwise I wouldn't have turned out right".

Today I've been bombarded with a dozen epiphanies about my current situation. I think about my husband and how incredibly lucky he is to have grown up with such an amazing family. My father-in-law is one of the greatest, most intelligent men I've ever met. He's opinionated, genuine, a fantastic father and rock solid with his beliefs. I'm so thankful I attracted my husband, who shares many of his father's qualities and I really hope my son turns out to be a lot like them. I'm grateful for all the wonderful things my father-in-law has said about me to my husband. It's heart-warming, but makes me wonder why my own father never noticed or even cared. I guess the old saying, "One man's garbage is another man's treasure" truly applies to me right now.

There are so many things in life we take for granted and although I didn't have the greatest family growing up, I surely have one now. I'm truly grateful and I think that's the biggest epiphany I had today. With that said, I believe I'm in a physical transition to whatever that next step is and I'm dying to find out.

Drama Wars: Divorce- Victim vs. Victim

2010-07-04T10:49:00.049-04:00

WARNING:

The Drama Wars series may be perceived as harsh and judgmental. If you're not in the mood for a wake-up call, don't bother reading. If you're going to get pissed at me for being honest and plan to tell me so, save it. I am not looking for validation in any way. Also, I'm not talking about ALL people in these situations, just the majority from what I've seen. Thanks!

***

Have you ever wondered what life would be like without having to deal with other people's insecurities, jealousy and unnecessary drama? Do you dream about it? What if I told you that all this instability you're living with is actually YOUR fault? Would you get all defensive and immediately place blame or play the victim? Well guess what, it IS your fault! Please allow me to explain...

Drama War:
A nonessential battle sought out by individuals who are looking to fill a deep void in their life, via a situation they created and refuse to take responsibility for.
Brought to you by the Dictionary for the Logically Impaired

If you're having a difficult time understanding, please refer to common sense at my trusted affiliate Merriam-Webster Online.

There are so many situations which can ignite some serious drama in our lives. In this series I'm going to highlight the most popular scenarios and offer simple solutions to the mass hysteria that never seems to evolve.
***

Divorce: Victim vs. Victim
How are your actions affecting your kid(s)?

As most of you are already aware, my younger sister and I were raised in a broken home. Well, she was at least. She was only 12 when our parents split. I was turning 16 so I was already in the rebel stage of my teenage years and was pretty detached by then. I was also very opinionated. I'm sure you're thinking, "Well nothing has changed." You're right. Nothing has changed!

My sister and I were exposed to our parents' jealousies, hatred and petty arguements. We also had to suffer with an evil step-mother whose only ambition was to lie, cheat, steal and cause drama so she could get rid of us. I allowed her to succeed with me because I took one look at her and knew she was scum the day we met. There was no love lost between my father and I anyway, so obviously I had nothing to lose by discarding them. Unless an upgrade is available, I simply decline.

My sister, on the other hand, sucked it up due to her fear that her beloved daddy would disown her and treat her like crap as he did me. At 27 years old and married with two children of her own, she's still living with that fear and calls me up for advice. I recently put a stop to that and included these closing words:

"This is your own damn fault. You allowed these people to trample over you with a steamroller for the sake of keeping a non-existant relationship alive. Be an adult, take responsibility and deal with it. I can't listen to this crap anymore."

Sounds harsh doesn't it? 16 years of her complaining finally got to me. So after the step-mother attacked her publically on Facebook with daddy's approval, she finally put her foot down. The dynamic duo has chosen to see their own children without the presence of the other. Just when I thought I'd seen and heard it all from them, LOL! Keep in mind, I still don't have a relationship with my mother's sperm donor.

That's the thing about most parents and divorce. They act like victims when they're really just a couple of selfish retards claiming they care about their children's best interest. They fight over things the kids could care less about, one or both of them is jealous of the other's life and finally, they try to exponge as much money out of the other as possible. Again, the kids don't give a rat's ass about any of that stuff. They just want to be loved unconditionally and treated like they're important by both parents and/or their significant others. To quote my oldest step-daughter, "DUH!"

Here are some tools brought to you by my own experiences and common sense:

* Think before you speak or act. Will your kids really be affected by your nausiating complaints for the better? I doubt it...shut up!

* Are you living in the past? Get over it. If you are only focusing on what you lost, don't have or compare your life to that of your ex's (or his/her significant other), your life will not evolve. History will repeat itself, even if you have a new bf/gf/spouse. My "father" and his wife are on top of their game with that stupid shit. It's still happening and I'm in my 30's now, LOL!

* Don't try to manipulate the court order! If you are constantly changing the rules to suit your needs, you're causing a huge disruption in the chid(ren)'s life AND creating drama with everyone in your situation. If you want to be viewed as the "good one", start acting like it. This goes for the mother AND father. For example: If you owe money, pay it!

* For God's sake, COMMUNICATE. It's more important for ex-couples with children to talk to each other after divorcing than while married. I know it sounds strange for me to say, but it's true. Especially if you have completely different views on how the kid(s) should be raised. For example: Confirm times/dates for events if you're unclear and do so without veering off topic.
For more information on creating a healthier dialog, please visit my blog entry, "I Am Right, Hear Me Roar!" under the "Relationships" category here at Wonderland.

* Expect to have different views of how to raise the child(ren). You're divorced for a reason, yes? Generally it's because you two couldn't agree on things while living together or had other circumstances tarnishing the marriage. Chances are, you won't agree on how to raise the child(ren) now. Don't expect your ex to do things exactly the way you want. The kids have the right and should have the opportunity to experience both parents' lifestyles, especially if they're a part of a blended family (half or step siblings). If you don't like it, then perhaps you should've made different choices.

* Be smart, don't start. Fighting over stupid crap that is. Again, if the complaint is not significant to the child(ren)'s well-being or current routine, don't bring it up. It's as simple as that. Religious beliefs and other personal lifestyle choices (outside of abuse) should be left alone. Aplogizing if you get "out of line" is also helpful. That will earn you respect.

* Know when your kid is manipulating you! 99.9% of children of divorce do it. Some practice this often and some don't. All they want is for both parents to feel sorry for them and they'll use that guilt to get new toys and all the attention, especially if a new bf/gf is being thrown into the mix or they're feuding with a sibling. They may also brag about what one parent gives them so the other will buy it too. I did it with my father.
All I wanted was for him to pay some attention to me, but I quickly realized that showcasing my issues with my mother did nothing but encourage them to fight and who won? Nobody. My parents argued about nothing and I was left with, you guessed it, nothing. No love, no affection and certainly no attention. The she-devil tries to use our words to hurt our mother to this very day (16 years later). So I guess that backfired in a very big way, huh.

* Absence makes the heart grow fonder? I think not! Don't rely on the ex-spouse or their significant other to do your job for you! Both parents (of school aged children or younger) are obligated to be present for school events/meetings, homework, extra curricular activities, pick-ups/drop-offs, serious health related incidents and the child(ren)'s emotional stability. Step-parents and significant others are not, so don't expect them to be. This is a general comment for parents who live within a reasonable distance from one another and are both in the kids' lives.

There should never be a statement made such as, "You're going to take care of this right?" Just do it and be there for them. Your kid(s) will remember your absence and hold on to it like it's the worst thing that's happened to them, even if they appear to be forgiving. I know this to be true, better than most people.

* Keep your word. If you agree to something do not go back on it just because "something comes up", it's inconvenient or the ex pisses you off. Nobody can say anything bad about you if you're true to your word.

* The world does not revolve around you! This one is definitely common sense. Don't try to control everything and everyone. The harder you push, the more resistance you'll meet and the more foolish you'll end up becoming. Oh and one more thing: Keep your priorities in check. Children first, you last.

* Suck it up! You and the ex made all the choices from getting married, having children (or adopting) to getting divorced (then possibly remarried). These kids never had a say. It's so important to be accountable for that which you are responsible for and stop blaming someone else. No matter what has been said or done in the past, you need to suck it up and deal with the person you choose to create (or adopt) a child with. You can't expect the kid(s) to have a chance to be happy or successful in life if you don't.

***
In this day and age, it is said that at least 50% of marriages are doomed to fail, depending on the circumstances. I'm pretty sure that percentage has gone up in recent years. Most of them include nasty custody battles involving 2 or more children. What's even worse are the statistics for the future of these children of divorce...

Paraphrased from the 'Journal of Marriage and Family' 2003- Studies have indicated that children from broken homes (or single mother homes) have a smaller chance of obtaining healthy and stable relationships in adulthood vs. the children who grow up with both parents in the same household . If one spouse's parents divorced, there's a 59% chance their marriage will end within 10 years. If both spouses' parents are divorced, you may triple that 59%.

Please visit Children of Divorce: The Shocking Statistics for other things we don't generally think about. It really is quite shocking and I'm grateful my sister and I didn't fall into ANY of those categories.

Also, here are the most recent divorce rates (April 2010) by country via Nation Master.com and of course, the US is #1. What a shocker! *note the sarcasm*

***

The most important message I have to deliver is that these drama wars between divorced parents are silly, time wasting and damaging to the children. All it takes is some common sense when dealing with the ex-spouse and moving on to a new life with the kids can be pretty fulfilling.

Just remember the kiddos don't give a damn about their parents' past, money problems, love lives, emotional issues, etc... They're kids. They only care about themselves and it's the parents' job to be there and provide them with their true needs. Furthermore, the ONLY victims in these situations are the children involved. Everyone else had a choice.

The Joy of Manifesting Life- Making Changes

2010-06-24T09:30:00.004-04:00

In the last entry I talked about coming up with mini goals and making myself available for the opportunities. I'm happy to report that it's going well so far and I can't wait for everything to unfold. Part of the process of being available is balancing my time and making these mini goals a priority over the other things I may encounter in my daily routine, no matter what. So that's my big intention for today. I've written about this when I first started the wellness program and it's been the most challenging step so far, but I've gotten into a groove and I'm quite sure I can maintain it throughout the summer.

It's very difficult for people who have young children living in their homes to find balance with time management. I, for example, have 2 step-daughters who live here every other week, so that's 3 kiddos in my home full time, 2 weeks per month. Since I'm working mostly out of my home for the tme being and the kids are out of school for the summer, achieving those mini goals is quite the daunting task. So I've had to make a few changes to our schedule to keep some order around here.

Speaking of making changes, I've found that if we do the same things over and over and expect a different result, we're in for a rude awakening. Nothing changes, we won't be attracting anything new and forget about time management. It's not going to happen. With that said, in order to be available for the Universe to deliver our opportunities or the stuff on our manifesting lists, we must make the necessary changes first. Funny how I'm getting these epiphanies in reverse order. At least I'm getting them though!

I also spoke about keeping a positive mind set while going through this process. It's pretty difficult to stay there when we're overwhelmed with responsibilities or just stressed out in general. It's hard to plan ahead when we're imbalanced. Finding a way to rid ourselves of stress is essential in boosting our confidence, creating a positive attitude and keeping the faith alive. Having faith that we will be successful (or ARE already) is another key element in being able to work with the Law of Attraction. When we're negative, we're saying to the Universe, "I don't trust you." Not only that, but we're not trusting in ourselves.

In a nutshell, here are the main epiphanies for today:

Place your mini goals in the top 5 on your list of priorities
Make the necessary changes to your schedule so the opportunities can enter
Work on grounding yourself while experiencing stress. Ask for help if you need it.
Have faith that everything will work out and believe you're already successful

The Joy of Manifesting Life- Mini Goals

2010-06-21T09:19:00.005-04:00

Now that I'm on the starting over kick, I've been thinking of new and innovative ways to make changes and attract what I want. I was writing my new manifesting lists and a thought occurred to me; I have to start with things that seem achievable, within a reasonable time frame. For example, "Within 3 months I have 'X' amount of money saved". It's a fairly small amount, of course.

Here's the thing though. In order to do this, there are three steps I need to follow.

Step one- Attract the means to make the money.
Step two- Set a percentage of those earnings aside.
Step three- Make sure I do not touch those funds.

The Law of Attraction is only part of the equation. We must also put in the work to show the Universe we mean business. If we don't, the Universe will not deliver. I can say I want something, but I have to make myself available to receive it. We cannot expect the Universe to just give us something if we're not willing to do anything to attract it.

The best way to get in that mode, especially if you're new to stepping out of your comfort zone is to take baby steps. We need to be in a positive and willing mind set in order to achieve anything in life and it's imperative to be consistent. Setting mini goals and taking things one day at a time will get us through almost anything which also includes losing weight, healing after a break-up or even changing a career path.

I don't usually focus on finances when I'm manifesting, just my career in general. This week I'm focusing on my personal happiness, outside of friends and family. I am going to do small things that allow me to reconnect with who I really am. I'm pretty sure I can make time for that!

The Joy of Manifesting Life- New Beginnings

2010-06-13T10:03:00.006-04:00

This past week was one of the most enlightening times I've had in quite a while. I have to say that my clients are just fabulous! It's so awesome to know that I can learn something new every single day and being reminded of who I am by a few clients this week really made me smile. It's also cool to see that some of them are actually on the same path as I, so we can exchange stories and help each other out. Nice!

I'm talking about reconnecting to our centers and the source (God, The Universe or something else), then being free to start creating again. I decided that since it's a new week and I usually do my intentions, today is the day for new beginnings. I'm going to write a new manifesting list, but this time I'm only going to focus on my personal life for the next month and I won't be including other people. Since I don't have to manifest a healthy and happy romantic relationship, I'm only working on career, health, finances and general family goals. I will tackle these lists one topic at a time and this week is going to be my career.

One of the things I was reminded of last week is that I've let some of my favorite past times fall by the wayside, unintentionally of course. There are certain things I used to do for myself that kept me balanced and sane, so now it's time to get back to it. It is career related so this week's intention is to reconnect with my center as much as possible and get back to doing those things that make me happy.

The Joy of Manifesting Life - Working Through Obstacles

2010-06-08T22:59:00.003-04:00

I'm on week 9 of my manifesting wellness program and I feel as though I hit a brick wall a couple of weeks ago. It's been quite difficult staying focused on my personal plans when so much has been going on with other people in my life and I'm not talking about silly stuff. It's been one big drama after another and a lot of bad news.

I swear there has to be something in the air. Almost everyone I've spoken to lately has had some crazy crap happening in their life. Things that are throwing them off course and/or completely stopping them in their tracks. It's been absolutely insane! My friend Amy made a comment that mercury has been retrograding for 8 weeks, as a joke. So it's not just me who has noticed.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's start over time for me and the wellness program. My computer flipped out on me and I had to upgrade my Windows program from Vista to Windows 7. I can still access some of my old files, but I'm starting to think that I shouldn't. It's funny though, I go through this computer crap every few years. It's as though Spirit is telling me that it's time to upgrade my life again. Gee, what a surprise! Here's the thing though. I started this program TO upgrade my life. I'm sick of being treated like an idiot by Spirit so I sent a mental email to them today...

Dear Spirit,
I'm smarter than a 5th grader, I'm really used to transition and I can hear you! It would be nice if you could refrain from knocking me on my ass while delivering your messages. They have been the same every year since I was 6 years old. I understand that it takes some people time to be aware and to connect with you, but I'm not one of them. Oh, and could you be nice to my family and friends as well? Thanks!

Cristin

I don't think that's going to work, but it was worth a try!

We all have obstacles to work through in life and if we didn't have them, we wouldn't be able to reap any rewards or appreciate the small victories along the way. With that said, I think my theme for this week is starting over. I'm going to focus on letting go of my old programming and expectations then let the Universe guide me to my next step. After I accomplish that, I will use what comes to me and start manifesting new things for myself.

The Joy of Manifesting Life - Week 7

2010-05-25T09:24:00.003-04:00

Well, the last 2 weeks haven't been joyful for me. I've been bombarded with family drama, my beautiful cat Carma passed away and some other inconvenient crap occurred while I was visiting people in MI. Carma's death really hit me hard. She's been in my life for 10 years and yes, I'm grateful for that. I'm also glad I still have Angelica, but she's pretty depressed right now and probably will be for a while.

I suppose I couldn't set my intentions for the last 2 weeks due to all this stuff and I've been feeling guilty. I'm more than happy to get back to regular life again. I do have some good news though. I manifested a new job for someone in my life and that came to fruition yesterday. It's another one from the list I updated a few weeks ago, yay! Now it's time to check that one off and tweak again.

Now that the majority of the sadness and drama has passed, my intention for this week is to stay focused on all the blessings I have in my life then create a system that integrates them into my future plans. Basically, I'm going to try and build upgrades until a complete change occurs. Sound good?

Hope you all have a fabulous Memorial Day!

xoxo,
Cristin

The Joy of Manifesting Life - Week 5

2010-05-15T13:17:00.004-04:00

I'm starting week 5 of the wellness program and I can't come up with a new intention! You'd think that life, being as crazy as it is, would give me some idea, but no...nothing. What a bummer!

So far, this manifesting thing has been more of a life change than anything. I'm guessing that I wasn't prepared enough so I needed to spruce myself up a bit. I'm also guessing that once the Universe thinks I'm ready, the flood gates will open and all the good shit will come to fruition. I believe that.

This past week I've been out of sorts. My husband's schedule has changed again, therefore mine has as well. I've never experienced this amount of schedule changes in my entire life. It's been insanely chaotic this past year. Since I haven't seen much stability in that realm, I've been forced to create it on my own, which hasn't been the easiest thing to do. As a matter of fact, that's been my greatest challenge and I think this wellness program has really given me a run for my money.

The other issue I expressed in the last entry was figuring out how long I would be doing this for. I think each category I'm manifesting should take about 4 weeks so perhaps 4-6 months is a good time frame. I'll just go with that for now.

Anyway, hope you guys are feeling as good as I am with the program!

xoxo,
Cristin

The Joy of Manifesting Life - Week 4

2010-05-11T11:23:00.004-04:00

Now that I've gotten through the epiphany portion of my manifesting wellness program, I decided that my focus for this week is to create a new list of intentions for one specific part of my life. I already have a list of long-term goals created, which seem to be coming to fruition quite nicely, but nothing for myself in the short-term. If I try it this way, perhaps I'll accomplish my goal of manifesting things faster. We shall see and of course, I'll keep you posted.

I'm categorizing my short-term goals as follows:

Home
Relationships
Career
Health
Random

Hopefully this new system of mine will give me the results I'm seeking. If not, I'll be trying a new method. The other thing I need to work on is setting a feasible time frame for each list. I'm not sure what would work out, so I guess I'll just start with 4 weeks for each item.

Also, I'm curious to see how many of you are trying a new manifesting program. Send me an email to let me know how you're doing.

xoxo,
Cristin

The Joy of Manifesting Life - Time & Space

2010-05-06T10:03:00.005-04:00

Hey everyone!

I didn't update last week since there wasn't a lot to say. One of my manifesting goals came to fruition for my husband. This is something I had on my original list I created back in January. Some may ask, "How do you know you actually manifested that?" The difference between achieving a goal and manifesting is the detail of that particular thing.

For instance, things I had on my list for the husband happened from the actual goal to the exact time frame. Everything in between showed up as well. Achieving a goal doesn't always include those minor details, just the major focus.

I'm almost at the end of week 3 of my manifesting wellness program. I mentioned in previous entries that this process isn't just about getting stuff from the Universe, it's turned into a really huge, personal transformation. That caught me by surprise, to say the least. I think the first 2 weeks served as prep for my long-term program. I needed to get my work and family schedule in order first and then I had to make room for some alone time. I also had to clear some space in that time for me to find balance, mentally and physically. A friend of mine tells me all the time that it only takes 2 weeks to make or break a habit. As it turns out, he's right on with that one. I'm happy to report that I've formed a few very good habits and broke a couple of bad ones.

All that prep is essential in being successful with the Law of Attraction. If you don't clear out the old and make room for the new, the Universe will not be able to deliver since there isn't any space left in your energy. The same applies to setting intentions, whether short or long-term. We may intend to do this or that, but if we don't take the time and create a space for it to occur, it won't.

Time and space. Those two things seem to pop up everywhere I turn. Sometimes we need time and space while waiting for a relationship to develop. We need it for potential employers after an interview. Time and space are the most important gifts we can give ourselves when we're trying to evolve into better people. Quite frankly, they are necessary in almost every situation we encounter, especially when the outcome isn't within our control. Finally, those two things will allow the Universe to work with us and deliver the goals in our highest good.

I didn't realize this until just now, but I think my focus for this week is figuring out what I don't want, removing it from my life and connecting to what I need. In order for me to follow through with my intentions, I need to be able to navigate on the emotional front. If we're not in a good place there, then the probability of our stuff happening is slim to none.

The Joy of Manifesting Life- Days 6, 7 & 8

2010-04-25T14:28:00.004-04:00

I'm at the end of my first week of this process and it's been pretty good. I had a few major epiphanies and I've implemented a new manifesting schedule. The last few days haven't gone according to my mental plans, but that's life and nothing big happened anyway. I'm pretty sure my visualization needs tweaking so that's what I'm going to focus on.

Even though this week was supposed to be geared toward me creating a manifesting schedule, it's also turned into a personal transformation. Like most people, I struggle with finding time for myself. So this week I worked on delegating to my husband and creating an hour on non-work time. That's right. An extra hour so I can do whatever I want whether that's reading, writing or working out. So far, so good.

I don't have much to report from the last few days since it was mostly about me getting adjusted to the new schedule and maintaining it. It takes time to get used to new circumstances on top of having a busy life, so I gave myself a few days to do it. The only complaint I have right now is that the weather isn't cooperating. It's been raining off and on here so it was difficult to do everything.

Now that I'm on to Sunday, I have to come up with a new intent for this week. It hasn't hit me yet though.

The Joy of Manifesting Life- Days 4 & 5

2010-04-21T11:23:00.006-04:00

The week has gone pretty well so far with regards to my daily routine and manifesting the type of energy I want to attract. By opening up and sending out warm energy, I'm able to transform situations. That's pretty cool and I definitely plan to keep this up.

I had an epiphany this morning: I don't want to overwhelm myself and the Universe by trying to manifest too much at once. In order to do this, I need to have one solid intention for the week and stay true to it. That is today's focus.

This week I have been trying to keep a balanced daily routine. Part of my success is by manifesting the energy I want to attract. The other is just keeping myself physically, mentally and spiritually healthy.

Creating change one step at a time is the best way for me to stay organized and focused. Another way to keep myself from becoming overwhelmed is not planning too far ahead when it comes to these goals. I seem to change my mind a lot when it comes to this stuff anyway. So I will not set next week's intention until Sunday.

This journey is shaping up to be more than just manifesting things for me. It's starting to feel like a complete transformation. Hmmmm. I should have known! That's what the Law of Attraction is really about anyway. Creating the life we truly want. I didn't realize that my little experiment would turn into something so big for me at this time. Just when I thought everything was perfect in my life, an epiphany like this shows up. Nice.

The Joy of Manifesting- Day 3

2010-04-20T10:25:00.003-04:00

This morning I was jogging around the neighborhood with my step-daughter and a few things popped in my head.

Nothing we try to manifest will happen unless we're grateful for what we already have.
To be grateful for our current reality, we have to see it clearly.
In order to see it clearly, we must be honest with ourselves

The easiest way I've found to be clear is by keeping a gratitude journal. I used to stay on top of that thing every week, but unfortunately my good habit dropped by the wayside due to my move. My step-daughter asked me yesterday, "Cristin are we getting settled in yet?" At first I giggled at her question because I thought the answer was obvious, but then I found myself responding with, "Sort of. Take a look at my office. It's still messy, but we'll get there."

Why she asked to begin with, I couldn't tell you, but my answer made me realize that our lives can sometimes be messy and unorganized, but eventually we'll get to a place where things come together and we find peace, even if only for a moment.

Getting back to the gratitude journal for a minute. By writing down everything we're grateful for, we create space for the upgrades we're seeking in life. We can say, "Today I'm grateful for the relationship I have with my kids", believe it and the energy in those relationships upgrade to something positive, consistent and stable.

Today's focus:

Being consistent with my gratitude journal so I may create more space for upgrades

The Joy of Manifesting Life - Day 2

2010-04-19T05:13:00.003-04:00

Today's focus:

Sticking to a schedule for creating my weekly intentions

It's easy for us to lose track of time and get off schedule. I've never been consistent with my daily routine, with the exception of the kids and their schooling. When it comes to my personal life, I seem to just fly by the seat of my pants and fit myself in whenever I get the chance. Well that's not going to work anymore.

I have 2 sets of weekly intentions. The first is a list of career stuff and the other is random personal things. Yesterday I worked on my long-term manifesting goals and meant to do the other 2 lists, but of course, didn't have time. All I need to do is make sure I set a date at the beginning of every week. Sounds easy, right?

When it comes to the Law of Attraction, it's widely known that the Universe responds to our inner most thoughts and feelings about what we're trying to accomplish and our lives in general. Setting goals and sticking to them is the equivalent to keeping our promises to ourselves. If I can keep a promise to a friend or family member, I most certainly should be able to uphold the ones I make to myself. Maybe that's my problem.

It seems like the only things I manifest that come to fruition are the ones I want or need the most. Perhaps I should apply the same principles to the not so important stuff if I want to be successful in this journey. *gasp* EUREKA, I've got it!!

I hope you all have a happy & productive day.

xoxo,
Cristin

The Joy of Manifesting Life - Day 1

2010-04-18T09:22:00.005-04:00

As most of you know I'm a great Law of Attraction enthusiast. I've gotten my own proof that following this law and using it to manifest stuff really does work. I've manifested many things from material items to my romantic relationship over the years. It's been a learning process and it took me a while to figure out my best course of action to get the result I want.

This morning I took a few moments to go through the list of manifesting goals I made back in January. Over half of them were fulfilled already, YAY! I couldn't believe it. I have been so busy in the last 4 months I didn't even catch on to the success I achieved. Nice!

I decided to tweak my list and add stuff for some friends of mine. I'm testing the system because I'm not too sure if I can actually manifest things for people who are not my immediate family, so we'll see how this works out. I'll keep you posted.

Today I posted an article on MW.org called, "More Tips for Manifesting." I include easy ways to manifest your hearts' desire.

Now that I'm getting settled in my new home, I'm going to start a new manifesting wellness program. I'm looking for more balance in this process and quicker results. I'll be posting my journey here.

So I'm on day 1 of the program. Here is my focus for today:

Strengthening my faith in this process

Cristin

Drama and the Rear View Mirror

2010-01-20T09:44:00.006-05:00

I've always had a belief that letting go of the past is essential in creating an abundant future. This goes for everything including love life, career path, family stuff or other issues. In my life and the lives of my friends, family and clients, this belief has proven to be accurate. Yes, it's easier said than done. Some of the worst things I've gone through was due to letting go. Getting rid of anger and resentment being the most difficult.

Everything comes to the surface when we decide to move forward and leave the past behind. It's like looking into a magnifying mirror 24 hours a day until the issues cease to exist. I saw every little pore and the dirt inside. Each scar was highlighted and I had to experience those events all over again. It's easy to claim the victim stance in those negative situations, but it takes strength and bravery to admit the truth: We contributed to the drama, chose our reactions and created an outcome we didn't like or want.

Most people carry on in life, unaware of how their actions affect other people. I've been guilty of this plenty of times in the past. Even if I had good intentions while making a decision, someone else didn't like it and reacted in a way that didn't connect with me, which put us at "odds" or turned us into rivals. That's life, that's how people can be and that's also the art of assuming.

Isn't this the reason most drama filled situations occur? One person does something, someone else doesn't approve and that individual reacts without asking questions. Ah yes, questions. Here are some we should be asking before we start reacting:

Am I'm wrong about their intentions?
Am I sure that person is really "out to get" me?
Could their decision end up being in my best interest?
Could the outcome be better than I imagine?
Would my life really be better if they disappeared?

If we don't know the answers to the above questions, what would be the best course of action? ASK that person! That's right people. Never ASSume. ASK. Sure, you may not like the answers you get, but at least you won't be living in your head, always ASSuming the worst of your situation and/or the people in it. That's not living at all. Speaking of which, that has got to be the most jarring revelation I had while cleansing my mind, body and spirit of the unnatural junk I was carrying. I wasn't living my life.

We can be accountable for our part in the drama, if we did in fact contribute. Sometimes though, there are people who will stay confined to a box and see only what they want to see. That is their choice. How we react to it is ours. If we don't like it, there's no need to try and change it. That's their view, their life and their responsibility. It may be best to check out of that situation or relationship. I've been known to do that often as well. I believe in accepting people as they are and if it doesn't work for me, well...you know. Adios! Sound cold? Believe me, it most certainly is not. It's called self-preservation in a healthy manner.

I've come across quite a few people who ASSume they know what I'm thinking, what my intentions are and who I really am. Guess what? They never asked me directly and they still don't have a clue. Some think I'm a push-over. Some think I'm the devil incarnate. Some think I'm controlling. Some say I bring out their insecurities. Some think I'm the nicest, most caring person they've ever met. A nice mixed bag I have there, right? It's really interesting to see how many folks make those assumptions and stick to them like super glue. Some have even made choices in their own lives based upon their perception of me. How stupid! Make no mistake, I'm getting a good laugh out of that one.

The most laughable thing I've seen some people do is create drama in the present based on events from the past. I say it's crazy, but to them, it's their reality. These people will hold on to an issue, feeling or event for so long, they forget that the other person has moved on to bigger and better things. Now granted, I understand that feelings don't just disappear, but if you want to be HAPPY, you have to let them go. If it's not the current reality, it needs to go immediately.

We all have access to the same roads, destinations and exits. We can maneuver our vehicles to either proceed forward or we can stay fixated on the rear view mirror. Waiting for our past to catch up and hoping that when it does the reality will be different, isn't very realistic. Again though, you are the only person in control of your vehicle. Where you choose to go will determine what your life will be like.

2009 Relections

2010-01-03T21:45:00.011-05:00

Every year I write an entry that focuses on my past. Reflections of what went wrong, what I learned about myself and how each experience has helped me evolve. I used to post during the Fall, however, I decided to forgo my normal pattern and the usual "whoa is me I suck, but I'll fix it" rant. Why? I think it's because this past year I didn't suck and there wasn't a lot to fix. Only temporary circumstances to work through.

It's interesting though. I speak to a lot of people every day in my line of work and roughly 85% have reported that 2009 was the most trying and energy depleting year they've had in a long time. At one point I would've said the same thing. Today though, I've decided to eliminate those particular feelings and just focus on some events that have lead me to being grateful.

January 31st, 2009- I graduated from my 20's

That's right folks, I'm grateful for my 30th birthday. Sounds silly, I know. When that day hit I actually felt like a ton of bricks fell off my shoulders and I became a new person. Being a mother to Angelo and having my (then) boyfriend's daughters living in my home made me feel older. Turning 30 just solidified the lifestyle I was living. Plus, I've always felt more mature than my age so that day I finally felt as though I could accept myself completely.

April 2009- Dave made an honest woman out of me

I still can't believe I actually got married. For years I didn't feel marriage was for me. The idea of being legally connected to someone FOREVER never suited my nature. I'm not sure it does even today, although my relationship with my husband is fantastic. I tend to view the relationship and the marriage as two separate entities. The love stuff is the relationship and the marriage is the business partnership. I've never been one to work with others, you see. Especially when it comes to business.

I had to drop the words, "me, my and mine" from the vocabulary I habitually verbalized. This is been very difficult for me as I'm not used to depending on anyone else, nor did I want to. This can be attributed to the way I was raised. It took me many years to see that it was possible to have healthy, happy and equal relationships with people. Being self-sufficient isn't a crime, but I took it to the extreme for a very long time.

So why am I grateful for getting married? I have a long list, but the most important one is this: I have been given the opportunity to change my views, break habits and have the space to do so. Thanks husband.

July 30th, 2009- Angelo turned 1 yrs old

My son's 1st birthday was a huge wake-up call for me. I was in shock. I woke up that morning thinking, "Oh my God I gave birth a year ago. Holy shit." That was something else I thought I'd never want and never, ever do. Imagine me laying there just after Angelo arrived. They placed the baby on my stomach and we just stared at one another, LOL. My midwife said to me, "It's ok Cristin. You can touch him." So I took my pointer finger and lightly grazed his forehead, just to make sure he was real. "Holy shit, there's a baby on my belly and I pushed him out! " I think I said "Holy shit" a lot that day.

So on his 1st birthday I thought about the previous 12 months and wondered where the time went and how I actually did it all. Raising a newborn, taking care of my step-daughters, getting married, working and much more. I realized that I was capable of things I never anticipated and I'm grateful for that epiphany.

Overview of 2009

In general, a lot of stressful situations were inflicted upon my friends, family and clients. So many major life changes were implemented this year and it seems as though our work was cut out for us. Some of us got through it and some are still going through it. The good news is that we're all survivors in our own way. There is a great deal of HOPE coming in from the abundance of the Universe and the loving support of people around us.

In hindsight, 2009 was the most life changing year I've ever experienced. Every event has contributed to a massive growth spurt for me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Even the little things that I don't normally focus on has helped me achieve a new level of self-awareness, stability and acceptance. I was shown how strong I truly am and that, my friends, has been the greatest gift I've received this past year.

I really do have a long list of things I'm grateful for, but now I'm going to take that list, expand it and also create something spectacular that I can be proud of during this next year. I feel like 2010 is going to be bigger and better. I'm so excited to embark on a new journey. Though each year brings many lessons and tremendous growth, I believe this time I'm in the healthiest place to achieve all of my goals, without any regrets.

Transitions

2009-11-18T11:27:00.002-05:00

A transition is moving from one point in your life to another to reach a higher level in your physical and spiritual life.

The most common transitions are the following:

Emotional stability

Spiritual Growth

Receiving new psychic gifts

Communication

Clear decision making

Alleviating fear

Removing emotional or spiritual blocks

Preparation for a major residential move

Preparation for a new relationship

Preparation for the start of a new career

TRANSITION FAQ'S

Why do we go into transition?

Sometimes we need to be prepared for the next major change in our lives. Spirit will be working relentlessly behind the black curtain to help us obtain our goals and reach the next major level. Spirit will often leave us for a short period of time so that you can re-connect with God and make decisions on your own. While giving a reading, I usually know when the client is ready to begin a transition and I’ll let them know what to expect.

How long are we in transition?

Timing is everything. We can be in a transition for one to three weeks to three months depending on the severity of what needs to be accomplished at that time. Most of the time, I find that clients and the people they ask about go through 2-week transitions.

How do I know I’m in a transitional phase?

Here are the most common symptoms:

Feeling lazy and confining yourself to the house.

Feeling lost or confused about where your life is headed.

Knowing something is missing, but you can’t figure what it is.

Constantly searching for your next major step in life.

Trying out new things like college, new hobbies and new friends.

Feeling depressed for no apparent reason.

Obsessively cleaning your home and reorganizing.

Starting a new diet and working out like crazy.

Being completely bored with your life.

Feeling as if you have absolutely NO direction.

Freaking out over little things.

*Constantly second guessing yourself.

*Not being able to tune in psychically or hear your guides.

It's important to NOT give in to the negative emotions surrounding a transitional phase. When you're feeling lost without direction, just know that you're not supposed to be doing anything substantial at that point in time.

Try viewing a Transitional Phase as a spiritual, emotional and/or physical break in life. Everybody needs time to re-adjust to new circumstances and prepare for the future without being overwhelmed. You can also find yourself
coming up with new, brilliant ideas that may be way ahead of your time. Just write everything down and trust that you will be lead when the time is right.

You know when you’re out of transition when you "magically" feel as if you’re back to normal. It usually happens "out of nowhere". It’s important to know that transition is always in your highest good. It happens to everyone naturally and is common even with those who aren’t working on their spiritual growth.

Great Expectations

2009-11-18T11:21:00.001-05:00

We all have them. Sometimes they’re relatively low, but for the most part I’ve noticed a lot of us hold on to standards that just cannot be met by the average person. Whether we’re talking about inner circles or not, having high expectations of what another person should be or provide in return for our efforts can destroy our relationships (or prospects).

Have I been guilty of this? Absolutely. Keep in mind though, there are certain standards we all have that are non-negotiable, but for the most part, I know that there are a lot of "little things" we can always adjust for someone, if we want them bad enough. For example, one of the prerequisites I have for dating me is direct and honest communication, not just giving innuendos. If I don’t feel like a person is forthcoming with information, it won’t be enough to keep me interested or believe that they are in me. I need to see, feel and hear truth, or I will walk away. I know I’m not alone on that one. Nobody likes to play guessing games when it comes to matters of the heart. Lack of frankness will take you nowhere... fast.

Expectations can serve as an out-of-control emotional ball of energy, attached to us like a child screaming for his mommy when the sitter comes for the very first time. It can feel like torture to leave him behind, but it has to be done so mommy can rejuvenate herself enough to continue being a strong and balanced parent. She’s not neglecting her child, she’s just leaving him for a little while. Maybe we need to leave our expectations at the door for a short period of time to live and learn. If this is done, isn’t it possible that we may realize something new about ourselves? Maybe we’ll find out that we’re not as "right" as we thought.

Oftentimes we’re so fixated on the "expectations" that we actually neglect the truth: if we have them, others have them as well. If you think your partner isn’t fulfilling your needs exactly the way you want, what makes you think you’re doing it for them? Like I said earlier, we need standards, but what if yours cannot be fulfilled by ANY human being? What if your idea of love is actually a fantasy concocted by a Harlequin Novel or just another person’s attitude? The whole "soul mate" thing, for example. I actually prefer "connection" to that any day of the week! Why? It’s soooo unrealistic and indefinable. What are the chances we’re going to be happy with someone who appears to be identical to us? I know I’d rather take a flying leap off the Golden Gate Bridge than live with another Cristin.

If you are with your complimentary opposite, however, the chances of being happy are much, MUCH greater. In case you’re wondering, I believe a "complimentary opposite" is someone who shares your major life goals as a couple, ideas about children and have similar spiritual belief systems, but they have their own eccentricities which make them special. They have many things in common and can provide one another something they can’t give themselves on their own. It’s all about balance: positive and negative, black and white, back and forth (ha ha)...you get the point. Each entity has a purpose and when melded together, will provide longevity and a realistically sound alliance. So if you’re one of those happy people in a healthy relationship and choose to call your partner a soul mate, cool. I have nothing against THAT.

A lot of us are being disappointed by our great expectations. Some are blaming the other person for their discontent, when they set themself up for failure from the very beginning. I now understand why God sent my ex boyfriend to me. I swear he’s the heart and soul of the lessons I’m learning and sharing right now. He’s so wise, yet so unattainable.

Mr. Wise guy, in the midst of whining said to me, "I hate how movies are about love. It’s not real and I’m beginning to think that’s part of the reason I am the way that I am". Isn’t that what I told you back in March? YES. So he gets it AFTER we break up. Isn’t that the way is always goes? We learn our lessons after the fact, when all is said and done. In his defense though, I was the equivalent of the mommy who always thought she knew better. I figured that out, apologized to him and am making damn sure I don’t do it to the next guy.

Essentially, we BOTH had ridiculous expectations that neither one of us could satisfy for one another. This situation, like most relationships, has set a new standard for what will and won’t work in the future. It helped us discard ancient ideals and provided new desires. Nice, but I already knew all of this before my ex, lol. I think I was just too lazy to change while in the relationship and thought I had the right to complain. Again, I’m just like everyone else. (Ding, Ding!) The truth is though, no matter how much I could’ve changed in that time, it still would’ve ended up the same. At least I don’t have that hanging over my head. No "what if’s or wish-I-would have's.

I implore each and every one of y’all to PLEASE take a closer look at the expectations you have of yourself and other people. To take a chance in letting them stay home while you take off with your friends for a night. You never know what could be waiting for you outside of your confined space. Amazing things can happen when we just let go and LIVE.

Express Yourself

2009-11-18T11:16:00.002-05:00

Sometimes in life we find ourselves in compromising positions. Situations in which we feel trapped and vulnerable. Events that occur, leaving us stifled and rejected. Our emotions tend to control our thought process and sometimes even our ability to express our true intentions, heart-felt desires or even our dismay toward someone/situation.

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship of any sort in which the other person has absolutely no concern for your life?

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who literally controls the dialog and when it comes time for your input, they just disregard it?

Have you ever loved someone and was too afraid to tell them for fear that things would change?

Have you ever been in a situation to where someone has made you feel belittled, and yet you didn’t have the courage to stand up for yourself?

Have you ever chosen to not express your true feelings because you’re afraid the other person will think you’re stupid?

If you answered yes to any or all the above questions, it’s time to sprout some balls (yes, females too, hehe) and be who you ARE!

Feelings Are Never "Wrong"

It’s perfectly natural to feel as though you can’t say what you want to say; for fear that you’ll cause more damage than good. It’s one thing to constantly ridicule someone or criticize someone’s life because his or her situation or the way they look doesn’t suit you. That’s just ridiculous! When it comes to expressing dismay toward a family member, friend or lover regarding wrong doing or being treated badly, there’s nothing WRONG with explaining how you feel. You HAVE to let them know how their words and actions are effecting your self-esteem and the relationship.

Remember that your feelings are NEVER WRONG. They may not be in alignment with other people, some or all the time, but if you hold them inside nobody will be able to understand your point of view. Being OPEN and UNDERSTANDING to other people’s thoughts and opinions is the first step to having great communication.

We’re not telling you to CHANGE the way you feel to appease someone else’s Ego, but we are saying that you need to be open to their opinions just as you’d like them to understand yours in effort to compromise, if need be.

Fear

Fear is the #1 reason why people CHOOSE to not express their emotions and desires. My mother always used to say, "Try it; you might like it" to my sister Laura who is EXTREMELY picky when it comes to food. If she doesn’t like the smell or look of it, she won’t even bother because she fears the taste will be exactly how it looks. As silly as it sounds, the same goes for expressing emotions. It’s important to take the chance that someone may not agree with your point of view, just so you’re not stuck with the negative energy that holds you back from reaching the next step on your path.

Fear equals failure. The minute you allow fear to take over your ability to tell someone how you feel; you’re just allowing yourself to live in a small box without holes, therefore no air or light will be able to come through. Like attracts like. If you constantly fear a negative end result of expressing yourself, that’s absolutely what you’ll receive in return. You may be surprised at the actual end result when you DO voice your opinion.

Avoiding Confrontation

There are many reasons why some people avoid confrontation. I used to be that way. I always used to FEAR that my opinion wasn’t good enough or it may hurt someone else’s feelings. That changed when I met someone who was afraid to express his or her feelings to ME. Wow, what a reality check. That whole situation made me take a long, hard look in the mirror. My God! I was guilty of the same thing they were and I didn’t even know it!

Here are some reasons why people avoid confrontation:

I don’t want to feel belittled

Nobody does, but if you ALLOW someone to make you feel that way, you’re just as guilty as they are. Yes, some people get their jollies off making people feel stupid and having complete control over someone. Never let anyone control your ability to be who you are. Never allow someone else to control the zipper that resides on your lips.

I’m afraid I’m not articulate enough

Everyone’s communications skills are different. Some would say that I’m not very articulate, but I don’t care. I am who I am and I speak the only way I know how. I’m sure I could brush up on my skills, but I wouldn’t be unique if I sounded like everyone else.

I won’t get what I want anyway

You’d be surprised. Keep thinking like that and you’ll never go anywhere, let alone getting what you want from a particular person or situation. Again, like equals like. If you’re not open, the person at the other end won’t be open either.

I’m tired of hearing how "wrong" I am

Look, we can’t be right all the time. In relationships, there isn’t always a right or wrong way to do things. People are people and we all have different opinions. If someone says you’re wrong, that’s just his or her OPINION and sure you need to respect it, but please, let’s not allow that to sustain our way of thinking. If you’re tired of hearing "You’re wrong, you’re wrong" from a certain person, maybe y’all are not supposed to be in a relationship.

My opinions are just silly

They are? Then by all means, make me laugh because I need that on a consistent basis. Feelings, thoughts and opinions are NEVER WRONG because THEY’RE YOURS.

I don’t want to be criticized anymore

Sometimes criticism is good. It helps us learn and grow. If you look at criticism as "suggestions", you’ll stop fearing other people’s opinions of you. Maybe you just might get a stronger backbone! Some people criticize for that very same reason. Of course, there are always the punks who get and Ego boost from making someone feel less than human. So what? Obviously they have issues, not you so please don’t ever let someone demean your personal affinity.

I’m a lover, not a fighter

Me too, but I can’t always avoid conflict. We’re human beings, not robots programmed for perfection. You can be a lover and still fight for what you believe in. Sometimes fighting can turn out to have a great end result, depending on the subject matter and the personalities involved.

I don’t want to hurt the other person

Sometimes the truth hurts, let’s face it. We can’t be shiny, happy people all of the time. For example: You are in a friendship with someone and they’ve expressed a romantic interest in you. You don’t feel the same. Ok. You HAVE to be honest with them! If you’re not interested in them, please, for the love of God, DO NOT lead them on in any way. Be direct about it and stop dancing around the issue. They may not be please about it then, but later they’ll be grateful they didn’t waste time, spinning their wheels in the wrong direction.

Assuming

Have you ever held emotions in so long that you just burst out with the information during a fight with someone? That happens a lot, but did the other person say, "OMG! If I would’ve known you felt that way, I would’ve stopped doing that a long time ago?"
Assumptions, assumptions. If you don’t express yourself, how WOULD they know you felt that way? Not everyone uses their telepathic ability and those who do can’t possibly use it 24 hours a day! Like I said before, if you stop being afraid to say what you feel, you’d be surprised how many negative situations could be avoided and how much better you’ll feel about yourself!

The Child Within

Children are so expressive. They are absolutely fearless. Well, with the exception of "the dark" and monsters. We need to revive the child within. If the kid doesn’t like asparagus, he or she will tell their mother it was gross without any hesitation what so ever. Yes I understand that children aren’t usually tainted by society until they start school, but why allow adulthood to change who you are and how well you express yourself?

We can’t always make nice with every single person or situation that enters our path. Remember that things happen for a reason and it’s usually to teach us a lesson or regain karmic balance from past lives. With all of this in mind, you’re still very much in control of how you view life and how you communicate with other people.

Time For A New Psychic

2009-11-18T11:12:00.003-05:00

So you’ve found the "one" psychic for you and have been a loyal customer to that person for quite some time. This person has been astoundingly accurate the entire time; nailing predictions and details he or she couldn’t possibly have known on a consistent basis. Life is good. Then one day you get a reading after not having one for a few months. Your reader doesn’t get any new details to validate the information and your intuition is screaming, "they’re wrong, they’re wrong!" You think, no problem. He or she was having an "off" day so you wait a few months and get another reading. Still, this reader isn’t getting any details and again your intuition is screaming, "No, they’re wrong!" You start to panic and ask the following questions:

Has my situation changed?

Is my intuition wrong?

Am I not supposed to be getting readings?

Has my psychic lost their touch?

They predicted one thing and the opposite happened, now what?

After asking the above questions you’ve decided to start the psychic surfing circuit again. You find another psychic who you feel connected just as accurately as your past advisor. This time, you are able to validate the details this new advisor is providing about the SAME situation. Their predictions are also coming to fruition right on time. Now you’ve come to the realization that your situation has NOT changed, but the other advisor is just no longer able to connect with you.

Why does this happen? There are a few different reasons as to why and they are as follows:

You’ve gotten "too close"

After getting tons of readings, you’ve become friends with your psychic. No big deal, but when this happens, you form a personal bond with the advisor. A lot of psychics find it difficult to "read" for friends or family members. They may know too much about your life. I personally, don’t have that issue, however, there does come a time when I’ve done my job and Spirit will not allow me to read for a client any longer.

The problem with forming a personal bond with your psychic is that they may be interpreting the messages from Spirit incorrectly and/or may be filtering out truth because they don’t feel it’s in your highest good to know. Understand that your psychic may not even realize they’re doing this. On occasion, Spirit WILL refuse to give clear answers when it really isn’t in your best interest and they DO tell the advisor to refrain from giving the positive outcome if they just know you won’t do what you’re supposed to.

The spiritual contract has been completed:

When one is LEAD to a specific psychic, that means there is a spiritual contract to fulfill. Keep in mind, most contracts aren’t lifelong. If you find that your psychic isn’t connecting with you any longer, it doesn’t mean they’ve "lost their touch". It means that whatever information you were supposed to receive from that advisor has been given and the lessons you were to learn, you have.

There are times when you haven’t learned the lesson or didn’t completely accept the concepts the advisor offered you. If that’s the case, Spirit will lead you to another psychic who has the ability to break through the barriers. More often than not, you will encounter many different advisors throughout your lifetime. Each one will have new information that will help guide you to each new level on your path.

You’ve spiritually evolved so much that you clearly see your own life:

Sometimes the purpose in one getting readings to begin with is just to receive the resources to utilize their own psychic ability. I have always been able to see my own life, but I am still allowed to get readings to confirm my visuals. When you can clearly receive messages from Spirit and tap in on your own, you will no longer have any use for a psychic reading as you previously have. Keep in mind that getting to this point does take time, but every single one of us was blessed with psychic ability. Some just accelerate to higher levels quicker and some are lead earlier on in their life.

You’re not supposed to be getting readings:

YES! This can be one of the reasons your psychic isn’t able to connect. Spirit does have a way of manipulating our readings so that we stay out of the dwell mode and continue on the right track. Usually I can tell when a client will no longer need my assistance or when Spirit will start to give answers contradictory to previous readings. Use your own intuition regarding this manner. Not all psychics will be able to tell you when it’s time and quite frankly, most won’t even go there.

Your psychic can only connect in certain areas of your life:

Even if you find a psychic who you feel is absolutely brilliant, they may only be accurate for you in certain areas of your life. For example: I have a psychic I use for business purposes only because that’s her forte with me. It doesn’t mean she can’t read me in other areas, but she’s proven to be more on point in career and financial matters. I use another psychic for intuition confirmations and predictions. Then I go to a clairvoyant healer for Chakra balancing and energy questions. Lastly, I have a psychic for spiritual growth and transitional phases. Each one of these individuals are dead on accurate, but I‘m not able to connect with just one advisor for general purposes.

This happens to a lot of people. It’s also another reason why you can get a "yes" answer from one psychic and a "no" from another. Pay attention to which advisor is correctly making predictions in each area of your life and who isn’t. Just because one advisor was "wrong" about love, doesn’t mean they don’t have amazing abilities. They may be more accurate regarding career matters instead.

Don’t freak out when you get to the point when you won’t need psychic readings anymore. The point of getting a reading is to help confirm, enlighten and empower, not keep you stagnant or dependent.

Money, Money, Money!

2009-11-18T10:59:00.002-05:00

There are so many people who use financial gain as their only reason for personal motivation. Others use it as an excuse to not open up emotionally and allow TRUE happiness through their door. Some use money as a competitive sport; they only recognize their self-worth based upon the dollar amount in their piggy bank.

For whatever reason, some people refuse to acknowledge that the monetary influence could be the main reason they’re not getting what they want in other areas in their lives. The guides and I are going to share some scenarios and give a bit of advice in regards to how money can influence decision making, change a person or keep someone from driving on a nicely paved road to happiness.

Personal Motivation

A lot of people have goals and if you don’t, you should. Personal goals such as career choice, romantic future, children, vacations, retirement, physical fitness, ridding unwise habits, spiritual growth, friendships and of course, financial comfort. All of these COMBINED are healthy motivational tools, but if your ONLY motivation is financial status, the others will be left behind cold in a musty alley.

Do you honestly think God wants you to JUST have abundance in financial matters? No way! Those who ARE very satisfied with their financial status usually complain that the other areas in their lives are empty and not even close to being fulfilled. Spread your motivational energy to those other areas as well. Use your God-given INTUITION. Like earning a healthy living, we still have to work just as hard on those other aspects of life.

Nice Guys Always Finish Last

Absolutely not. Keep in mind that IF your only motivation in life is to reach a level of financial power over others, that shows bad intent and most likely, you’ll pay a heavy price emotionally. Not only that, but you created karmic imbalance and have to come back, yet again to clean the mess you’ve caused in the next lifetime. That’s the case with my father.

Money was his driving force in his last lifetime we spent together and money is what tore us apart AGAIN in this lifetime. He was supposed to be a humanitarian and he chose to be anything but that. My father chose to leave his family on Christmas day, after my mother spent a long time financially supporting the family because his business failed. As soon as he got a job paying over 100K, he left us without hesitation. He re-married a horrible woman with a trust fund. A few years later he was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer, lost his high-paying job, his marriage fell apart and now he’s miserable. What goes around, comes back around for sure. Funny, he used to tell me that ALL the time. Sometimes we may not see karma biting someone on the butt in this lifetime.

You Don't Have To Settle

We’re never saying settle for second best, but we’re not imploring you to be self-absorbed and SUPER picky about your money or love life. Being OPEN to ALL the possibilities will get you everywhere, not just 1 or 2 doors. It’s ok to stick with a certain "type" of man/woman, but it’s quite another to completely limit based upon money, looks etc.

For example: If you’re attracted to men who have dark hair, brown eyes, are at least 5’11" and are athletic, but they can ONLY make $150,000 or more per year, that’s a major limitation. Especially if you won’t even bother to look at a guy with that exact description, who makes $80 or $90,000 per year.

It’s ok to NOT want to completely financially support another person while in a relationship. Believe me, I’ve done that too often myself, but what would be so wrong with a man who makes $45,000 and is going to medical school to be a doctor? Who says that is settling when they are well on their way to becoming exactly what you’re looking for?

If you’re one of these people, please ask yourself WHY someone’s financial status is the deciding factor in regards to starting a relationship or even just dating them. There are wonderful people all over the place. Just because someone has money does NOT mean they have a good heart and pure intent. Maybe, just maybe if you open your doors and unlock the others you will have a more fulfilling love life. Think about it.

Competition and Obsession

Those who are in constant competition with other people regarding financial status. Are you trying to say that if you make more money than anyone else does at your job, you’re the "cream of the crop"? Do you think that the ONLY way you will receive notoriety in life is to be vindictive and hurt other people JUST so that you are #1? If so, stop right now!

Chances are, the people you’re "competing" with aren’t even on the same wavelength as you. They probably don’t even view this as a competition; they’re just doing their job. Do you honestly think that your co-workers are giving you the respect you’re seeking or think you deserve? Absolutely not. Most likely, they’re talking about you behind your back in a negative manner. They’re probably just wishing you’d relax, do your own thing and leave them alone.

If your whole world revolves around how much you make and being #1, you’re probably obsessed and need clinical help. Take a look around you. How many TRUE friends do you have? How much respect are you REALLY getting? How successful are you in the other, equally important aspects of your life? It’s time to analyze the root of this problem.

When I was growing up I never got the encouragement, peace, understanding and notoriety I yearned for at home. I ALWAYS had to be first chair clarinet, the most indispensable soccer player and the best jazz dancer around. I wasn’t vindictive; however, I never did receive the adoration from others. As soon as I realized that being the "best" wasn’t going to get me anywhere, I changed my way of thinking. I just kept clear focus on my goals and ACCEPTED what came to me. If I wasn’t satisfied, I found ways to change it but I did it for MYSELF and nobody else. I don’t do things just to gain recognition from other people. I do it for the greater good of humanity.

I'm Broke, Now What?

I’ve been there, believe me. I know how hard it can be when you work your butt off and still, you’re in the hole. If you are in this position, it’s IMPERATIVE that you constantly keep a positive outlook. If you don’t, you’ll just attract more negative events. It’s been a very long road of being the broke ass, but I changed that. I never sat and complained without doing something about it. I worked some crappy jobs, sometimes kept more than one to be able to pay my bills. I followed my intuition, God and Spirit. I kept my faith in tact. Don’t be afraid that nobody will love you if you’re aren’t financially stable all the time or extremely wealthy. Wealth comes in many different forms and BELIEVE that there is someone out there that will love you regardless of your financial status.

I’m not rich by any means and some people would look at me and think that I’m not successful. I beg to differ. I may not be a multi-millionaire, but I feel I am successful because I’m riding the path I chose. I’m doing what I’m supposed to and I’m content with what I have materialistically. Sure I have dreams and goals, but I’m not dreaming of millions of dollars and being "the best". I’m dreaming of being able to live a comfortable lifestyle, doing what I love and serving God. I’ve already achieved a lot of that, but like I said, I still have other things I’d like to accomplish...and I will because I have FAITH.

Afraid To Love Because I Have Money

This is a tough one. There are a lot of people who are VERY financially secure and have more money than they know what to do with. This brings upon major insecurity. The following are questions these people constantly have to ask:

Does he/she love me for who I really am ?
Are they with me for my money?
Does he/she want to be with me because of my status?
Are they just using my hook-ups to further promote themselves?
Can I TRUST him or her? Are they just like everyone else or are they genuine?
How do I know they’re right for me when I’ve been screwed so many times before?

Money buys material things and physical security, not love or true happiness. Those who carry prominent status tend to be reserved, less trusting, and lonely, which can lead to depression. Always having to watch their back for those that are out to exploit them and use them. They have good reason to be reluctant in choosing their friends, co-workers and romantic mates.
I wish we had amazing advice for those in this position, however, all we can offer are simple suggestions:

Utilize your intuition

When meeting a new prospect for love or friendship, tap into your GUT instincts and alleviate your fear and insecurity. If all you can hear is your fear screaming in your ears, then your intuition will not be able to break through with truth.

Take a chance, take the time

I understand that it’s difficult, but keep in mind that it’s just as hard for someone who’s broke to attain true love as it is for someone of prominent stature. Nobody is exempt from the "Law of Attraction" and/or "Trial and Error". Everything in life is Trial and Error. The whole point is to try it. If you don’t like it, send it packing and learn from the experience. You may be surprised when you actually LISTEN to your intuition CORRECTLY, what type of people you will attract and how HAPPY you can be with them in your life.

For example: You meet this woman and you feel a connection. You enjoy her company and would like to get to know her better. Then your insecurity kicks in with all the questions we stated above. The next thing you know, you’re getting closer to her emotionally and get scared. Instead of taking a chance that she was good for you and had pure intent, you run as fast as you can; leaving her in the dark yelling, "but I really do love you!" Some time after you ran away, you begin the should’ve, could’ve, would have‘s and wanted to‘s...but didn‘t. Then you start thinking about it again, but hold back because it’s been "too long".

How do you REALLY KNOW it’s been too long unless you take the time to find out? Have you done the research to find out if she was who she proclaimed to be? If you have and are satisfied with the information, why not try again? Yes, you will be taking the chance that she’s held a grudge, but maybe she hasn’t. Maybe, just MAYBE she’s more understanding than you originally thought. Has it every occurred to you that she may be in the SAME position? Give it a shot, you may start to feel lucky again.

Dust yourself off and try again

If you have found yourself giving and receiving nothing in return, it’s time to do things differently. If you try something once and it goes sour, don’t let that be the end all, be all. Try again but this time, have more FAITH. Remember, your thoughts, words and actions have more power than you know. If you keep saying, "It’ll never happen for me", it won’t. Did you stop trying when you wanted to reach your financial goals or career status? HELL NO! Then why stop trying to pursue true love and personal abundance?

HOW MUCH ARE YOU WORTH?

You can’t put a price tag on your soul. It’s not yours to begin with; it belongs to our Mother-Father God. The same goes for our physical bodies. The knowledge and creativity we bring to planet Earth is priceless. We all have a reason for being and it’s our job to find out what it is so that we may stay on the path to completion. Don’t let money influence how you view yourself or the life you’re leading. Don’t allow financial notoriety be your only means of existence because you’ll end up traveling a short and miserable road to nowhere. Don’t let your fear and insecurities dictate your thought process and path to true happiness.

We are worth every ounce of energy God put into creating our souls. The minute you start drifting away from that fact is the minute you place your foot on the Red-Brick Road, instead of the Yellow-Brick Road.

The Urge To Purge

2009-11-17T12:21:00.001-05:00

Been hit by the cleaning fairy lately? Yeah, me too. Fall is usually the time I feel compelled to purge my home of anything that doesn’t match my energy and no longer fits into my home and/or life. This includes old pictures, letters, unfinished writings and other useless crap I’ve accumulated over time. I guess Fall is coming a little early for me this year because I feel like the cleaning fairy is using me as a ball for her batting practice. I’m getting nailed left and right with the urge to purge.

It’s not just me though. Family, friends and clients have contacted me with their stories and they all seem to sound the same, “Oh my God I had to clean and I found this old artifact from my past so I decided to strip my house of all the crap!” It’s different for me though. I got rid of most of the stuff from my past when I moved into this home. Everything, but my couch. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has yet to go through a few of his boxes that have reminants of his ex-wife. I let him know and he was horrified, so I guess he’ll be joining us pretty soon.

My big thing this week was getting rid of the girls’ old toys and turning their playroom into a work-out room. That will be Dave’s special place. The other project I took on was creating a more spiritual home office for myself. I’ve had this gigantic space since March with nothing but my computer and an old wardrobe in it. So yesterday we purged the playroom and I fixed up my office. Boy, does it feel incredible! The energy is completely different and more condusive to my own. Every time I enter this room, I feel invigorated, motivated and happy. Yes, happy. That’s how you know the purge was a success.

Why Do We Have The Urge To Purge?

When the urge comes on strong, out of nowhere, it’s time to pay attention to your current surroundings. Is this your dream room or home? Does it look the way you want it to? Do you have what you really want from life? If the answer is “no”, then it’s time to chuck all the stuff that doesn’t feel right anymore. Generally the purge is meant to clear out the old to make room for the new. This can also represent an impending life change.

Most of the time, our homes are a representation of how we feel about ourselves in some way. If you have accumulated a lot of clutter, most likely the issue is a problem with letting go. If your space is practically empty, that is how you’re feeling inside (or just like the open space). If you are in between those two examples, you are probably more balanced, but still could use a splash of inspiration or an upgrade. We all need to polish up our personal spaces from time to time. If you’re living with others and the problem is their clutter, it’s time to have a little chat.

Children have a tendency to take after one or both parents. If you have a messy child who (no matter what you do) won’t clean up their act, it’s time to get to the root of the problem. Most likely, their disorganization and “I could care less” attitude is some reflection of what’s going on inside the home and/or an emotional imbalance. If you’ve got a neat freak on your hands, they probably feel like they have to be perfect, have to be in control and/or care too much about what other people think of them. The reason for both examples could be as simple as them reacting to their environment and following in their parents’ footsteps.

Items that no longer serve a purpose can block your opportunities for growth and change, especially things from the past. Each item you get rid of should be something you really don’t use, don’t need and don’t like to look at. If it reminds you of something negative, it has to go immediately. When you get rid of that item, you’re releasing old energy that’s been suffocating you and perhaps affecting your moods. Your home should only have things that satisfy your true desires and needs.

A List Of Things To Get Rid Of…

Even though the purge is self-explanatory, I decided to offer up a short list of things to get rid of as a guideline.

* Photographs of yourself and others that represents a bad time in your life

* Letters and/or journals that reflect frustration, unhappiness and your old self

* Computer files (including MP3’s)

* Furniture pieces that doesn’t fit your vision

* Clothes/shoes that no longer fit or will never wear again

* Checkbooks that have an old address/ex-partner’s name

* Home décor that makes you feel icky

* Old make-up/hair products

* Books you won’t ever read again

* Electronics/kitchen appliances that aren’t in use

* Empty boxes

* Old bills

Sometimes we think “this one thing” should have a home in our space, but it may be the ONE thing that stinks up the atmosphere. Also, make sure you go over your space with fine tooth comb when you believe the purge is over. You never know what could be lurking behind that dresser of yours, *wink*.

De-Funkify Me, Baby

2009-11-17T12:15:00.001-05:00

At this time, the general energy with folks has presented me everything from stress and anger to fear and the worst cases of PMS imaginable. It’s easy to assume we’re freaking out over the holidays or preparing for the new year, however, I’m starting to see a different pattern. A lot of us are in the “nothing’s-really-changing-and-I-can’t-take-it-anymore” FUNK. It’s all around me. It’s affecting some of my family, friends, clients and myself as well.

Mine has nothing to do with the personal life. As a matter of fact, there’s been a lot going on there. My funk is regarding the direction I want my career to take. I have so many ideas, but not enough time to incorporate them all. This happens to me every few years and I’m usually ahead of my time. After going through this “red light, green light” obstacle course many times, I’ve finally gotten the hang of the process:

1. This is another transitional phase.

2. I need to keep those ideas available, but let the Universe direct me.

3. I have to stick with my daily routine until opportunities present themselves.

WHAT IS A TRANSITIONAL PHASE?
A transition is moving from one point in your life to another to reach a higher level in your physical and spiritual life. In plain English, it’s the down time between the present and next life change.
HOW DO I KNOW I‘M GOING THROUGH IT?

There are many common emotions and symptoms we experience while transitioning. Here are a few examples:

* Feeling lost or confused about where your life is headed.

* Knowing something is missing, but you can’t figure what it is.

* Constantly searching for your next major step in life.

* Trying to add “new” things to your routine.

* Feeling depressed for no apparent reason.

* Obsessively cleaning your home and re-organizing.

* Being completely bored with your life.

* Feeling as if you have absolutely NO direction.

* Freaking out over little things.

* Constantly second guessing yourself.

* Feeling “blah” and not wanting to leave your home.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

You know you’re out of the phase when “new things” enter your physical world and/or when you “magically“ feel like you‘re back to normal. Some of the symptoms won’t go away if that was a change you needed to make. For example, if you were a slob and you experience the obsession with cleaning, then perhaps you’re not supposed to be that way any longer. I was one of those people and believe me, cleanliness really is next to Godliness.

Once you’re out of the transition, it’s super important to allow change to occur. Welcome it with open arms, even if it appears to be negative on the surface. For some people, the break-up of a relationship (platonic or romantic) can be considered negative, but if it ends, there’s usually a damn good reason. I choose to look at that as a rebirth, especially if it wasn’t a healthy relationship to begin with. It’s an opportunity to start over with a clean slate and create the life you really want and with who you want.

I know someone who dated a guy for 14 months without a commitment. She gave him an altimatium, but it didn’t go in her favor. They broke up the other day and she’s devastated. She’s a fabulous woman with a lot to offer the right person. Yeah, it’s probably the worst time of year to end a relationship, but I believe she needed to free herself in order to make room for someone in her highest good. 14 months and no commitment, are you kidding me? So not worth it…

WHAT ABOUT THE SINGLES?

Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about you guys! The down time for singles during the holidays can be unbearable. I know, I’ve been there plenty of times myself. In effort to keep this entry as short as possible, here are some suggestions to jump start your ability to attract dating prospects or make other important changes to your life:

Change your presence -

Make a list of the qualities you possess that you believe are unhealthy and do the opposite. Place yourself in positive environments with people who make you laugh and feel good about yourself. This will dramatically alter the energy you’re putting out there and other people’s perceptions of you.

Your Personal and Professional Space -

What’s going on with the energy around you? Are you working with people who drag you down and/or are you living in an uninspiring environment? If so, it’s time for a change! Rearrange the furniture, paint your walls, change your residence and/or apply for new jobs. There’s no use staying on a career path or living in a home that isn’t right for you any longer.

New, new new -

Check out your wardrobe. Do you have ancient outfits and stuff that no longer fits you? Get rid of it and replace it with something spectacular. Even if you can’t afford an entire closet, buy one outfit at a time. The same goes for furniture, inexpensive jewelry, make-up and home décor. Don’t overextend yourself financially, though.

Your Health Status -

It’s important to do grounding and physical excersizes in order to maintain balance. Of course, a healthy diet couldn’t hurt especially to restore your skin’s radiance and aura.

Mix and Mingle -

If you’re not used to going out, it’s high time you start. You don’t have to become a barfly (please don’t), but going to nice places where you can mingle with new folks is always a great option. Start making yourself available to your friends and their social circles. You never know who you will meet. I went to a wedding as someone’s “plus-one” and BAM! Hello boyfriend… Say yes instead of no and it could change your life!

The above suggestions aren’t just for the singles. You can apply these to any life change you’re seeking. This is the best way to DE-FUNKIFY yourself and create the path you can be happy with. Please remember that the rewards come with hard work, patience and faith. It’s best to not have an “instant gratification” complex while going through the process. Trust me, I’ve been there and done that. The results come when you’re living in the now and are open to divine time.

xoxo,

Cristin

Whew! Glad That's Over!

2009-11-17T12:11:00.001-05:00

Though it’s only drizzling rain at the moment, the scene outside takes me right back to what I was dealing with during the last three months. I found myself asking the question, “When will the sun come back out?” because all I could think was that I may never feel its rays shine down on me again due to the pouring Whackitis and sopping drama.

That’s what we get when we beg for change, folks. We complain when we’re in the desert and we freak out while experiencing the massive precipitation we longed for. What we really want is a perfect sunny day, 65-70 degrees, clear skies and a soft breeze to shelter us from disappointment. Unfortunately for us dreamers, myself included, the reality consists of the following:

There will be dry days

There will be wet days

There will be days when God throws us a bone

There’s no such thing as perfect

If you’re just now getting to this place, welcome to my world. It’s up, it’s down and it can provide the most splendid of experiences once you learn to adapt. Yeah, adapting to disappointment seems to be the appropriate theme for today. So let me give you a tour of the room I’ve named Cristin’s Self-Inflicted Path to Destruction…

At first glance it’s a beautiful sight. The walls are painted with amazing earth tones and pictures that sparkle with love, success and true happiness. The bed seems firm, soft and comfortable so you feel like you can breathe easily, relax and sleep well at night. The furniture is antique. It carries historical imprints, but has also been refinished to reflect your current personal taste. It’s everything you’ve manifested and more. Essentially, this is the room of your dreams and you say to yourself, “Ahh. I could stay here forever.”

Then BAM!

You wake up a few months later to realize that your fantastic room of splendor has crumbled into something you don’t recognize any longer. The walls have blackened and the artwork that displayed such stunning pictures are now dingy with messages of boredom, stagnation and lethargy. That bed has sunken into its coils, not allowing relaxation or a full nights sleep because all you can think about are the negative aspects of your room. Those historical imprints from the furniture you once saw as the unique side of yourself have come to the surface. They’re haunting, taunting and cause you to sabotage your path to greatness. You ask yourself, “How did this happen to me? How could I allow myself to believe such a fairtale would last?”

Unfortunately for myself, I have the answer to those questions. It didn’t just happen. It was easy to let the laundry pile up in one corner and allow the garbage to stink up another. I’m sure you thought, “I need to clean today”, but left it for tomorrow. When tomorrow came, you repeated without rinsing. Most likely, you burned too many candles at once, thinking the walls could take care of themselves. The novelty wore off and you started to lose sight of what that room represented and how much it meant to you. You didn’t think you were doing too much, but you never took the time to care for what was most important to you…the room you once called a luxurious paradise.

That room is YOU and/or your relationship(s). Your mind, body and spirit have been drained and your surroundings reflect that. Well, let me just tell you that you’re not alone in this situation. Everyone I’ve ever known has been to this place, most commonly in their romantic relationships. When you first get into it, everything is wonderful. There are no flaws with your partner or with yourself. As time marches on and things progress, you allow this person’s garbage and quite possibly your own to stink up the area. This has caused you to enter into reaction mode. Now everything seems incredibly dark, dirty and borderline disgusting. Needless to say, you’re terribly disappointed and don’t know how to restore the room to its former glory.

Now you’re thinking, “Oh man, I can’t do this. It’s way too much work!” Well, the way I see it, you have two options. You can give up, walk away and create another room with upgrades or you can take a good look around, extract all the garbage and adjust your expectations from fantasy to reality. I believe the latter may be the best path to take if you believe that room is worth something money cannot buy. Yeah it’ll take a bit of work and you will probably have a fight on your hands, but it could be worth it, right?

Reality can appear to be cruel, but it can also save you from yourself. A beautiful and peaceful room has to be maintained if you want it to have longevity. The same goes for our relationships. Yeah there will be some concessions. You will probably have to do some work that makes you want to crawl under a rock and never see the light of day again. Most likely, you’ll have a lot of stinky garbage to handle that makes you sick. Sure you’re disappointed that you couldn’t just live in luxury without doing any maintenance, but if you allow yourself to adapt to the situation, you will find this huge silver lining you overlooked when you first entered the room.

Just so you know, I lived in this room for approximately three months. I started noticing the negativity in my life about a month and a half into it. I tried to turn the tide verbally, but that didn’t work so I adapted to the disappointments and changed my behavior. I did sound the warning alarm and once my actions became consistent, that room started to shine again. The sun popped out when I least expected it to. I’m seeing what I want to see and getting what I need for now. Only time will tell if my part of the mantenance will allow my desires for myself and the situation to come to fruition. It was difficult work but now I say to myself, “Whew! Glad that’s over.”

So you guys, if you find yourself in that dark, dirty and borderline disgusting room, (Insert name)’s Self-Inflicted Path to Destruction, just know that you have options to find your way back into the sun. Adapting to disappointment sucks big time, but there’s a lot to be learned in the process. Once you find a way to view the situation from a spiritual perspective, the sky is the limit for what you can achieve.

Great Expectations

2009-11-17T12:10:00.001-05:00

Have I been guilty of this? Absolutely. Keep in mind though, there are certain standards we all have that are non-negotiable, but for the most part, I know that there are a lot of "little things" we can always adjust for someone, if we want them bad enough. For example, one of the prerequisites I have for dating me is direct and honest communication, not just giving innuendos. If I don’t feel like a person is forthcoming with information, it won’t be enough to keep me interested or believe that they are in me. I need to see, feel and hear truth, or I will walk away. I know I’m not alone on that one. Nobody likes to play guessing games when it comes to matters of the heart. Lack of frankness will take you nowhere... fast.

Expectations can serve as an out-of-control emotional ball of energy, attached to us like a child screaming for his mommy when the sitter comes for the very first time. It can feel like torture to leave him behind, but it has to be done so mommy can rejuvenate herself enough to continue being a strong and balanced parent. She’s not neglecting her child, she’s just leaving him for a little while. Maybe we need to leave our expectations at the door for a short period of time to live and learn. If this is done, isn’t it possible that we may realize something new about ourselves? Maybe we’ll find out that we’re not as "right" as we thought.

Oftentimes we’re so fixated on the "expectations" that we actually neglect the truth: if we have them, others have them as well. If you think your partner isn’t fulfilling your needs exactly the way you want, what makes you think you’re doing it for them? Like I said earlier, we need standards, but what if yours cannot be fulfilled by ANY human being? What if your idea of love is actually a fantasy concocted by a Harlequin Novel or just another person’s attitude? The whole "soul mate" thing, for example. I actually prefer "connection" to that any day of the week! Why? It’s soooo unrealistic and indefinable. What are the chances we’re going to be happy with someone who appears to be identical to us? I know I’d rather take a flying leap off the Golden Gate Bridge than live with another Cristin.

If you are with your complimentary opposite, however, the chances of being happy are much, MUCH greater. In case you’re wondering, I believe a "complimentary opposite" is someone who shares your major life goals as a couple, ideas about children and have similar spiritual belief systems, but they have their own eccentricities which make them special. They have many things in common and can provide one another something they can’t give themselves on their own. It’s all about balance: positive and negative, black and white, back and forth (ha ha)...you get the point. Each entity has a purpose and when melded together, will provide longevity and a realistically sound alliance. So if you’re one of those happy people in a healthy relationship and choose to call your partner a soul mate, cool. I have nothing against THAT.

Read my article on soul mates (http://www.mysticwonder.org). It’ll give you a more specific idea of my thought process on that subject. You don’t have to agree, but it’s there in case you’re curious.

My point with all of this babbling? I’ve noticed here lately that a lot of us are being disappointed by our great expectations. Some are blaming the other person for their discontent, when they set themself up for failure from the very beginning. I now understand why God sent my ex to me. I swear he’s the heart and soul of the lessons I’m learning and sharing right now. He’s so wise, yet so unattainable.

Mr. Wise guy, in the midst of whining said to me, "I hate how movies are about love. It’s not real and I’m beginning to think that’s part of the reason I am the way that I am". Isn’t that what I told you back in March? YES. So he gets it AFTER we break up. Isn’t that the way is always goes? We learn our lessons after the fact, when all is said and done. In his defense though, I was the equivalent of the mommy who always thought she knew better. I figured that out, apologized to him and am making damn sure I don’t do it to the next guy.

Essentially, we BOTH had ridiculous expectations that neither one of us could satisfy for one another. This situation, like most relationships, has set a new standard for what will and won’t work in the future. It helped us discard ancient ideals and provided new desires. Nice, but I already knew all of this before my ex, lol. I think I was just too lazy to change while in the relationship and thought I had the right to complain. Again, I’m just like everyone else. (Ding, Ding!) The truth is though, no matter how much I could’ve changed in that time, it still would’ve ended up the same. At least I don’t have that hanging over my head. No "what if’s or wish-I-would’ve’s".

So to conclude this really long rant, I implore each and every one of y’all to PLEASE take a closer look at the expectations you have of yourself and other people. To take a chance in letting them stay home while you take off with your friends for a night. You never know what could be waiting for you outside of your confined space. Amazing things can happen when we just let go and LIVE.

Thanks for sticking around,

Cristin

The Puzzle

2009-11-17T12:09:00.002-05:00

I had a VERY interesting conversation with someone about playing the victim role and those who choose the power of being an authority figure with impure intent. I have been able to associate all of this with a paradox from my past and thank God I’m able to put the pieces together on my own, without the aid of unsavory figures trying to lead me astray from my truth.

Of course not everything is crystal clear, however, I’m aware of my own blemishes and contributions to those situations and will be accountable, whether I was right or wrong in the process of discovery. I don’t believe in victims when it comes to emotionally charged ordeals. The key factor in playing that role is denial. If you are unaware of the truth, how can you own up to the choices you’ve made? If you cannot see outside your self-confined box without windows and only place blame on others, how are you able to make the changes to create a healthier, happier existence? You can’t.

On the flip side, a lot of us have seen the truth while we were involved with someone romantically or otherwise, but chose to avoid the inevitable by putting on those rose tinted glasses. Damn, those things are always available to us aren’t they? The challenge is to practice will power when given the choice to wear them. Will power is a tricky thing. I have to say that mine is fueled by pride. If I’m adamant about an idea, the choice to walk away seems relatively simple from a physical standpoint. Then reality sets in and I’m forced to see the situation from a neutral perspective and re-adjust my opinions.

I am not a victim and I refuse to act as such. With this refusal comes the smashing of my pride and tossing aside expectations of myself and others. It’s not an easy feat, but absolutely necessary if the goal is achieving peace in my environment. I will do whatever it takes to see myself as I am and my best to see others for their truth as well. The one thing that prevents this from happening is actually getting something tangible to go on. I’ve always thought that if you get nothing, you can’t believe anything, but this is easier said than done. Our emotions always taint our perceptions, for good or ill. What’s worse is when you’re dealing with outside influences who toss their 2 cents in, but only contributing hearsay and confusing the situation even more.

I’ve been thinking about those blemishes and I found one that makes me more normal than I’d like. BLAME. Yep. I’ve been guilty of placing blame on someone without having concrete proof. With the situation I’m referring to, I realize that I’ve been a resident of Easy Street and I hate living there! So why, if I dislike that location so much, do I continue to renovate my home and converse with the neighbors instead of moving on? Oh wait! I AM moving, it’s just taking FOREVER to do it. I’m slow, but aren’t we all? When we know we have to do something that isn’t appealing, we take our sweet ‘ol time and all it does is delay our arrival to the true destination. This would be the town of Happyville.

Here’s a thought: Maybe taking Easy Street is just a detour, but will lead us to Happyville anyway. Living in Michigan is a nightmare when it comes to road construction. It always happens when we least expect it and there’s no control over the circumstances. We’re always forced to take a different route during the summer. The funny thing about construction is that there’s always a choice involved. We can sit in traffic for hours on one road, but a detour is always offered. My dumb ass usually passes on the detour, especially in areas that I’m unfamiliar with.

My fear is that I’ll get lost and have to call someone for directions, sounding like a complete idiot. As long as I get there, I shouldn’t care how it happens or how silly I look while I’m traveling. So what if I get lost? That’s life. Sometimes getting lost can introduce us to places, people and things we never would have known existed unless we veered off the path a bit. Hmm, that IS a great thought. Again, something I’ve always known, but have neglected to embrace in certain situations. Damnit, I’m going to get there eventually...If it’s the last thing I do. I PROMISE! (That was me speaking it into being)

Being a hypocrite is another one of my silly fears. I do my best to keep myself out of the denial mode, but sometimes I wonder if it’s just too much. Maybe working so hard will only result in me sliding deeper into the quicksand, instead of seeing things as clearly as I should. In my opinion most hypocrites are in denial, but then there are those who choose to take on the authority figure role and refuse to be accountable in order for them to sustain their position.

When it comes to my position in society, the only things I care about is making sure that I am honest with who I am inside and what I stand for. I don’t feel the need to try and manipulate or convince anyone that I am right for them romantically, the best friend they’ll ever have or the perfect role model. I don’t even believe in perfection anyway. I am who I say, with the knowledge and information I have about myself as of today. Change happens in my life, virtually overnight and I do my best to adjust. I am human and sometimes I do get into a funk, lose my way or trip over a pot hole once in a while.

So what is the puzzle I’ve spent so much time trying to put together? It’s a picture of myself. With every sunrise and sunset comes a new perspective of the people who have imprinted my life. The past is gone and the present I’m aware of. The future is what I’ll create alone with the cards God chooses to give me. I just have to try my very best to play smart and know when others are bluffing.

xoxo,

Cristin

Behind The Mask

2009-11-17T12:07:00.001-05:00

I'm sure some of you guys have noticed by now that I work relentlessly to achieve true balance, especially in the emotional and spiritual realms. It's no easy feat, whereas, I never know what the shining sun will bring on any given day. The journey thus far has been quite exciting for me personally and for some of my friends as well. It seems as though there's either something in the air, or my EGC mojo is rubbing off on them. EGC is my abbreviation for epiphanies, growth and change.

Do you know what it's like to go through many years of your life feeling as though you were certain about who you really are, only to realize that you knew nothing at all? Maybe you're one who always knew who you were, but portrayed a completely different character due to unrecognizable second-guessing. You could also be a person who had it right the first time, but failed to provide the masses with an accurate perspective because over the years you:

A- Inadvertently wore a mask to shield yourself

B- Allowed yourself to become part of the social standard

C- Were raised to believe that your truth was wrong in some way

OR

D- All of the above

There are also those people who are completely aware, don't hide behind a facade and go through each step in life depicting their inner truth to anyone who will listen. I really thought I was one of those people, but apparently I was sadly mistaken. When I entered a conversation with someone about The Law of Attraction and how the rules apply to me and my romantic relationships, I didn't expect to have yet another "Omg, I'm a moron!" moment. If recently becoming aware that I was trying to fill the void of my (pre-adolescent) lost love wasn't bad enough, now I'm being forced to see what's been lurking behind the mask. I swear to you, it's the emotional equivalent to getting a chemical peel. Instead of looking rejuvenated, fresh and clean, I'm left with the raw, painful memories of my childhood. Yes, yes, I said childhood.

Even some moments we have cast aside, considered silly and inconsequential are quite the opposite. They can turn out to be more important than the major events we remember clearly or hold on to for many years. You'd think my father leaving us on Christmas Day should be cause for concern, but not in my case. We never got along, he was rarely around and to be honest, that was the best Christmas gift I have ever received as it changed my life forever. The real culprit was my mother (as usual).

She and I rarely got along while I was growing up. Hell, even today I can only take her in small doses. As a child, it was obvious to me that nothing I ever did was right in her book, no matter how hard I tried to please her. To this day she still refuses to accept me as I am, unconditionally. Even though I chose to ignore her and take on the rebel role, her words made an imprint somewhere on my subconscious mind and unbeknownst to me, created a pattern which didn't allow me to elicit an honest image of myself to others.

You'd think I would've seen this ages ago, but I probably wasn't allowed to or just wasn't ready to. If I would've known then what I know now! LOL The sad thing about denial is the issue of wasted time. I can choose to hate myself or feel guilty, but what's the use in that? The only thing I can do with this information is accept it, reveal myself and hopefully I'll attract people I can mesh well with. This isn't the new me, it's the real me that's been suffocating under a BS standard set by someone else.

When I finally remembered some of those "silly" things from back in the day, I now see how my mask was created and why I had worn it for so long. I also understand the deeper lessons regarding my past relationship failures, romantic and platonic. As it turns out, this particular epiphany is just the icing on the cake I've been baking for quite some time, I just didn't have all the ingredients to complete it. Now it's ready to be served.

We're always experiencing the effects of EGC. Sometimes we have control over the situation and other times we're just propelled forward by the wings of Angels. What makes us aware are the events that seem shocking and you can't do anything about a problem unless you're aware of its presence. I could apologize to all the people who thought they knew or understood me, but I don't see the point. They were probably wearing a mask too.

xoxo,

Cristn

As The World Turns...

2009-11-14T09:59:00.002-05:00

Our thoughts, words and actions change every moment of every single day. At least mine do. When the sun comes up each morning, I feel like a different person because I start out with a new perspective. I am not who I was yesterday. Sometimes I have so many thoughts that I just have to stop and get some air. I think everyone is like this. Nobody is perfectly balanced and when we actually feel like we've gotten close, we had to work hard for it.

After I finished cleaning my office today, another epiphany came to me. Since March, I've spent more time taking care of other people and their issues that I've let myself fall by the wayside. I'm talking about my friends, my goals, my health and just my life in general. There weren't enough hours in the day to complete everything, so I thought, "You'll get your needs met tomorrow, Cristin." Of course tomorrow came and went. Still no time for Cristin's needs, but whose fault is that really? Mine, most definitely. So today I decided that I have to find a new way to compartmentalize my day to achieve my personal goals. My son's needs are my #1 priority, so I'm not talking about him here.

There are so many facets to a woman, it's not even funny. I think we've been physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually programmed for multi-tasking. Yes, at times it can appear to be too much, but that's only when we decide to stretch our energy to accommodate someone's smelly garbage. We have a tendency to take on other people's problems as if they're our own, unbeknownst to us. We also try our very best to take care of others' needs due to our need for accomplishment in certain areas of our lives. I generally don't feel the need to seek validation that way, but I seem to have formed that habit accidentally. Perhaps motherhood is to blame, I don't know. What I do know is this: During the last 8 months, I haven't done one note-worthy thing for myself...and that stops RIGHT NOW.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I love my son. I love the career path I've chosen. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my cats. I love my home and when I upgrade to a new one, I'll love that one as well. There's much more I haven't mentioned and I love those things too. Is there anything wrong with what I have? Absolutely NOT. I'm grateful. Grateful to my higher power for giving me the ability to create. I did this and without help. So why am I thinking so much? There's something missing and I can't exactly put my finger on it. I'm pretty sure I'd be happier if I had all those things I love so much in my daily routine. Ah, but that's just not possible, now is it?

There's always something that could make us happier with life, but I've always believed that one must want what they already have to achieve happiness and to be able to attract something new. I'm thankful. I love what I have. I think I just need to balance my time, like I said before. I think what bothers me the most is that I've allowed other people's crap to stunt my growth and take up so much of my time. Yes, you're sensing a tiny bit of resentment here, but don't worry, I'm taking care of that. The resentment is really directed toward myself, not anyone else in particular.

Here's the good news though. Yes I feel my time, energy, finances and the fact that I work from home has been taken advantage of over the years. Yes I acknowledge that I allowed it. The best part of being used by folks who don't reside within my circle is this: My eyes are wide open now.

I will no longer strive to keep the peace in any situation that doesn't concern me. I say, let them duke it out if that's what's going to happen. I will no longer waste my precious time taking care of other people's responsibilities. I will continue to stand up for my beliefs, even if it pisses people off. I could care less. I will not change who I am because some people are uncomfortable. Get a fucking therapist if you can't handle it. Sounds harsh? Too bad, LOL!

As the world turns, life changes. Some people grow and some don't. We're all perfectly capable of adjusting our perspectives when the Universe throws us a curve ball. Yes, we can bitch about it for a short time (I sure did), but it's what you do after your initial reaction that will show the world who you really are. If you can't pull the positive out of a seemingly negative situation, then you're going to have a very difficult time dealing with reality and attracting what you really want in the future.

I'm not going to be one of those people. Life is too precious to be wasted on bullshit.

The Game of Life

2009-07-28T10:55:00.003-04:00

Over the years I’ve covered many topics. Everything from sorrow to self-help. I opened the door to my private life and shared my personal experiences through blogging, which not only served as a therapeutic punching bag, but allowed others to connect with me on a personal level. I didn’t realize that the things I’ve published has had meaning for so many people. That was until they emailed me their thoughts. I’ve been so blessed, especially lately, to have received a lot of thankful comments for bluntly putting myself out there, flaws and all. So I decided to go back in time and read everything I’ve ever written.

What’s hitting me hard is seeing how much I’ve grown emotionally and spiritually from the time I was a teenager until now. There were moments I would cringe as I re-lived some of my experiences. I thought to myself, “I can’t believe I was that way. What the hell was I thinking back then?” There are certain things, like my spiritual belief system for example, that hasn’t changed. What I want out of life personally and professionally has though and believe me, it was definitely for the better.

I think the worst thing I’ve ever done is self-sabotage. In hindsight, I believe I did it with everything. Though I’ve documented my great leaps of faith and journeys to the unknown, I still found a way to keep myself from achieving greatness. How sad. Now I can honestly say that’s my only regret and it’s something I will never do again.

I noticed a pattern lying dormant within my writing. It seems that I’ve always had to fight immense negative forces to be happy, whether self imposed or not. It’s as if every time I get close to a certain level of contentment, peace or joy, somebody wants to take me down. I either have to get rid of them from my inner circle or defend myself in an unnecessary war. I know I’m not alone on this one. I’ve heard so many people say they’ve had to go through it as well, especially these days. All of this has lead me to ask, why?

Why do people let jealousy rule their being?

Why do people target those they don’t even know?

Why do people become so enraged that their friend is happy they make it their mission to destroy their life?

Why does one go behind a friend’s back to sabotage their relationships and/or career?

Why do some people spend so much of their energy worrying about what someone else has or what they’re doing?

Why do some people lie, cheat, steal and manipulate to get what they want?

Why can’t people just be happy with their own special gifts and talents?

Keep in mind, I’m very much aware of my own shortcomings and the limitations I’ve placed upon myself over the years. I’ve been on a quest for peace for some time now and I think that’s the source of my frustration. We can’t live perfect lives and we most certainly can’t have a perfect environment all the time, but why is it so difficult to achieve consistency? If it’s not one thing, it’s another and quite frankly, I’m sick of it. Aren’t you?

Even though I created the “why list” above, I actually know the answers. What really annoys me is the fact that we NEED people like that in our lives. Why? To allow each and every one of us the opportunity to live with true balance. So what’s my lesson in all of this ranting? TOLERANCE. Yup! Apparently I let my skills in this realm fall by the wayside and it’s time to practice for an up and coming game I don’t feel like playing. Unfortunately though, I don’t have a choice so I guess I might as well roll with the punches.

Ah yes, games. I played soccer and was very passionate about it for many years. Being on a team made me feel as though I was a part of something great, especially when we won (of course). That’s how I’m feeling about my life now. I’m a part of something wonderful and fulfilling, but there are a few people who don’t want me to have this experience. What I’m going through really is like a sporting event. When a good player emerges from the pack, the opposing team targets that person to prevent them from scoring and/or assisting their teammates to become victorious. Forget the fact that there’s a coach involved, it’s ALL about that particular player. Hmmm.

The rules of soccer are closely related to the rules we all abide by in our daily lives. In soccer, you can’t use your hands (cheating) and you can’t physically harm another player. You get a yellow card (warning) and if you do it again, you receive a red card which takes you out of the game. In the real world, we have laws that are supposed to protect us against those who intend us harm. We actually have a law in the United States that prosecutes people for perjury so why do some folks exhibit this type of behavior outside a court of law? Is it because they think they can get away with it?

What exactly have I done to warrant all this attention? Perhaps I made a couple of moves which appear to be fancy, difficult and showcases my talent. Maybe I’ve done nothing at all, but what I do know is that my opposition believes something and instead of attempting to see the truth, they’re trying to take me down so that my team becomes ineffectual. In this particular case, they’re breaking the rules by lying and using other unscrupulous methods to come out on top. Nice. You know what I think about all of this nonsense? My opposition shouldn’t be playing this game at all. Since they feel the need to lie, cheat and steal to win, they obviously don’t possess the natural talent required to be successful on their own.

In lieu of everything going on at the moment, I guess Spirit wants me to pull some tolerance out of my back pocket. That and perhaps some empathy. It’s very hard to do when you’re being attacked for no good reason, but how wonderful would it be if I can pull this one off? The Karmic rewards for a feat so difficult could potentially change the course of my life forever. It’s too bad my opposition doesn’t see things the same way I do, but I guess that’s their cross to bear when all is said and done.

Things to Work On Today:
* Tolerance
* Empathy
* Inner strength
* Karmic rewards
* The big picture

You Did It To Yourself

2009-07-18T09:03:00.000-04:00

Life has been quite the roller coaster for me over the last few years. There have been highs, lows and of course, the coaster broke down a few times. Given everything I’ve been through, it’s safe to say that my body is in need of great rejuvenation. I took a short vacation at the beginning of March, but I desperately need another. I’ll be leaving again at the end of May for a week and will be spending a lot of my time on the beach. Thank God because this crazy Ohio weather is sucking the life out of me.

Just to be clear, the lows I mentioned isn’t just about me. I‘ve been mostly concerned about the people in my inner circle. I’ve had nothing but happiness come to me since the day I moved to Ohio and I’ve made a lot of excellent choices. Sometimes I pinch myself to make sure I’m really alive. Yes, this is my life and it’s everything I never planned for. I think that just might be the key to true happiness. Don’t plan a damn thing.

A few years ago I had a conversation with someone and told them, “I don’t believe in the 5-year plan. What if the Universe has a better idea?” That’s the one thing I stuck with throughout my life and I’m so glad I did because it turned out to be reality. The only thing I do plan for are fairly immediate personal goals (like moving, for example) and that’s worked out well.

To be honest, I didn’t always feel this way. My faith has been tested many times and I didn’t have much confidence in myself, my choices or my environment. I wasn’t able to get a firm grasp on what I really wanted and I couldn’t figure out why. I was so emotional about my circumstances that I wasn’t able to tap into my higher self or intuition.

In hindsight, I recognize that I was given the answers, but I was too afraid to take that flying leap into the unknown. What made me finally do it, you ask? I think it was the fact that everyone around me had sped off with their dreams in hand and I was left in the dust. In actuality I had the vehicle, the gas and the directions. I just kept my foot firmly pressed on the brake. How silly, right?

As children we want our way all the time and when it doesn’t happen we yell to our parents, “That’s not fair!“ Every time I got in trouble or didn’t like how I was treated my mother always responded with, “Well, you did it to yourself”. I hated that phrase with a passion, but guess what? It was the truth. I did it to myself…every single time.

As adults we’re faced with the same choices we had while growing up. The only difference is now we have more pressing responsibilities, we’re held accountable for our actions and are solely responsible for the outcome. When things don’t seem to go our way, our internal reflex kicks in and it can transport us right back to being 10 years old. We want to scream, cry, blame and run away. We want to ignore what’s staring us in the face. We don’t want to be wrong and we certainly don’t want to start over. That takes way too much work, right?

My husband says that life is all about “action and reaction” and I say “everything happens for a reason”. Now that I think about it, both are true and both require accountability. It’s always nice to find the silver lining in situations gone wrong, but if we’re not accountable for our actions, we won’t learn anything and will repeat the same pattern until we get it. In this case we can’t use other people to motivate change. We have to take the bull by the horns, get off our butts and make it happen.

Being fearful of the unknown is a distraction. It enables denial and it prevents us from achieving our dreams. Keeping your foot on the brake is your own doing, as it was mine. The most important lesson I received over the years is this:

Withholding who you truly are and what you really want will only make you a liar.